Wedding Wednesdays: What’s in a Wedding?

It’s WEDNESDAY!! Oh, Wednesday, fancy seeing you again.

Pilgrims, I hope you’re experiencing a day filled with joy and peace.

I have found that in the last couple days I’ve had to make a conscious effort of keeping my joy and peace. I’ve had to be on guard because my own feelings can mislead me so easily. However, I know

“The effort required is well worth it.”

Subconsciously, that is something I have been telling myself for some time now. People around me have also been encouraging me with the same sentiment just using different words.

As I typed it, I realized how much that statement has propelled me through this journey, particularly with wedding planning and marriage preparation.

I’m not a quitter but LORD knows I’ve been tempted. Usually, the temptation to quit comes when we are tired from our efforts and when we don’t know what is coming as a result of all our effort.

Seeing the results of our efforts  for their full value, that’s a GOD thing.

HE sees the end from the beginning but HE doesn’t always tell us what the end looks like, we’re just instructed to follow HIM. I know HIS eyes are better than ours (#understatement) and the value of what comes at the end may be something we would not be able to recognize even if HE showed us.

And that’s why there’s a process.

The process is for us not for GOD, HE already gets it.

Yesterday, I was reminded, while engaged in a conversation, that there is a greater value to this wedding than I may have already realized. It’s something that goes deeper than a testimony of GOD’s goodness to our parents, than families getting together for a happy occasion, than friends reuniting for good times, and it’s even deeper than two people joining their lives and formally aligning their individual purposes to forge an even greater joint purpose.

It’s something beyond all of that, something I’m missing but that GOD has not missed.

And that reality has me living in a light that demands I recognize that this wedding is not about me.

Sure, I’ll be doted on. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not looking forward to that.

But It’s not my day.

If it were my day, something I was in charge of and could control, then the temptation to quit would have turned this wedding day into a day at the courthouse about 9 months ago lol (#IJS).

And maybe this “something” that is beyond my recognition, is something that will not be recognizable for years. I won’t obsess over discovering what it is, it just has to be enough to know it exists. (I feel like I’m rambling and I wish I could articulate that knowing feeling I have better but that’s all I have right now. I suppose that’s the thing about transparency, sometimes you know to share but don’t understand why, when you haven’t even figured it out yourself.)

So with only 9 days to go until November 1st – this is our wedding planning reality – 

• Last night I had a 2 hour phone call with our extremely capable coordinator. We (Danny was on the call too) walked through every detail of the day of the wedding including the rehearsal.

Take aways – a few items to be finalized, proposed adjustments to ensure fluidity and most importantly a reminder to have my big sister in charge of my phone on the day of.  I’m just kidding about the most importantly part, well, #sortakindanotreally lol

This week we’re:

• Reviewing the design and draft to finalize the program and get it printed.
• Finishing the seating cards
• Finalizing the seating arrangements
• Reviewing all the vendor contracts and taking care of any remaining balances.
• Ensuring that everything needed for next week will be ready for pick-up by next Thursday the latest.
• Packing for the honeymoon!!

Attitude – Let the chips fall where they may. 

At this point all planning is complete. There’s no use in working yourself up about anything.

Whatever goes wrong goes wrong (just don’t tell the bride about it) lol.

Whoever shows up, is meant to be there.

Que sera sera. What is to be will be.

My only goal, my only hope, for that day is to see Danny standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me.

What’s in a wedding?

Well, according to wedding planners and experts there’s plenty of things that go into a wedding, but the truth is most of it is just stuff.

Passing vanities captured in a moment thanks to photos and videos.

Unfortunately, in America, the photos last while 50% of the marriages are dissolved.

What Should Be in a Wedding? 

JESUS – GOD is love. #needIsaymore

Love – a deep appreciation, a willingness to put the other before yourself and equipped with forgiveness.

Covenant – irrevocable.

Friendship – helps with communication. You should like each other at the very least, the majority of the time, lol.

Togetherness – you will be life partners. 

Trust – sustained confidence.

Determination – tenacious stubbornness and a refusal to give up on your marriage. 

Commitment – loyalty, fidelity, to GOD, to the other person, and to making your marriage work.

The “stuff” (i.e. dress, centerpieces, floral arrangements, etc.) really shouldn’t matter. Any stuff is just a plus. Even the rings are extra. They are only a symbol they don’t determine the worth of your marriage.

While a ceremony at the courthouse is not what GOD had in mind for Danny and I, there is certainly nothing wrong with it. It can still be as grand a wedding day as any celebration with a $100,000 budget.

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable in every way, so husbands and wives should be faithful to each other…”

Whether the ceremony is in a living room, after a church service in a back room, at the courthouse, or in a grand ballroom – marriage is honorable. When you have those key ingredients you’re well on your way to a lasting marriage. And if you choose to pass up the grand ballroom and go an alternative route you’re saving a lot of money too! #naanbutthetruth

Marriage is honorable.

I’ll end this post with some well wishes someone gave Danny and I a few weeks back,

“I hope your MARRIAGE is worth more than than the rings and that it is filled with more Good Times than the wedding.”

Remember:

MARRIAGE is more important than the wedding.

 It’s truly my desire that everyone called to walk the path of marriage be in a successful and healthy marriage.

This is my last Wedding Wednesday post as a single woman. Yay!!

Next week DANNY will be writing the final Wedding Wednesday post. 

We will share pictures and video from the wedding here and on our wedding website danielandcara.com

I can’t Thank You enough for reading and being a part of this process.

Best wishes for love,

-CN

 

 

Wedding Wednesdays: Practicing. Private.

Here we are…

On another Wednesday. I hope everyone is having a spectacular day!

And if you’re struggling with that any at all, here’s a helpful hint – spectacular days start with grateful hearts, positive attitudes and “accurate” perceptions (seeing life as GOD sees life).

Here’s an Update on Our Planning Process:

Our invitations are finally, FINALLY done and have been sent out and people have started receiving them. FINALLY Done! It was such a task! Collecting all the addresses, making sure the addresses were correct and that no information was missing …AND I didn’t even do any of the really hard work – printing, stuffing pockets and envelopes, going to the post office to mail them off…but still, lol.

**One thing I’ve learned is that procrastination has been kind to me when it only affected me alone. Obviously, now that I’m getting married, my procrastination no longer affects only me and it’s affected a lot of others who have been helpful in this planning process (My bad! Truly), so I’m hoping I’ve learned my lesson there, lol.** 

The invitations came out beautifully! Danny and I couldn’t be happier.

Special thanks to our designer Yohanna Reis.

Now that the invitations are out – the REAL fun starts – receiving RSVPs and working on the seating plan.

In addition to that I still have to figure out a few technical details for our centerpieces, which are simple (on purpose) and makes the technical part all the more strange. But, whatever, its necessary.

We also met with the ministers (our premarital class facilitators who are also) officiating the ceremony and we’re excited about what we have planned.

THE MOMENT ALL BRIDES LOOK FOR

“Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this…” – Kelly Clarkson

**For the record, I am a Kelly Clarkson fan, that is, I thoroughly enjoy the music she makes. #RockOn! #IDigress #MovingOn**

SO I’m going to be honest…

Up until the moment I saw the finished invitation, I didn’t really have the “Oh my gosh I’m marrying the love of my life!” moment.

Even when I was trying on dresses,  it all seemed so foreign to me.

The closer I get to the wedding day, the more I lean and include Danny in all the planning and the more I text my sister every wedding thought I have when it hits the more I have felt like a bride.

But yesterday my moment came. When I saw the completed package and held the invitation with our names and saw my name, my dad’s name,  and Danny’s father’s name – I was overcome with happiness, my eyes welled with tears…

“I’M GETTING MARRIED!” 

And yes, the marriage is way more important than the wedding. And again, let me be honest here: I have struggled with having a wedding. One minute I was at peace with the idea and other times I felt like it was more trouble than it was worth.

But GOD has totally changed my perspective on that.

This wedding is a BIG deal!

To our families? Yes. 

But even more so because of what it means to me…

This wedding is the  tangible reality of a promise GOD made to me six years ago. Even beyond that, GOD is using this wedding to show Himself strong to my parents, reminding them of where they started and the position HE has placed them in now.

When GOD brought that to my attention, and I REALLY understood it, I looked at this wedding, at this entire process in a very different light.

Sure…it’s about Daniel and I coming together but that  wouldn’t have been possible without

The Orchestrator of it all,

The ONE

Who thought of me,

Danny,

Our families

Before

HE laid the foundations of the earth.

This wedding is about GOD being GOD in my life, in Danny’s life, in the lives of our families…and I’m so thankful for the people who will be able to celebrate and witness this next step with us. 

Which brings me to my next and final points.

Practicing. Private.

One thing that was emphasized in our pre-marital class was having a plan in place (for conflict, for dealing with money, etc.) and practicing those principles even before you say I do. Sometimes practice comes in the form of actions , like in the middle of a misunderstanding, and sometimes practice comes in the form of discussion, like planning out a budget. for your family.

One area I’ve needed practice is in handling conflict and putting right thinking into action (not just knowing the correct thing but actually doing what I know to be correct).

Other areas people can practice are speaking highly of your spouse-to-be and never speaking ill of your spouse-to-be. That goes for men and women but particularly to us as ladies, because we can get overly emotional and have the “need” to “vent” – I spoke about that more in detail in last week’s post (Bridesmaids).

Marriage is a private, intimate, and sacred thing instituted by GOD. 

In a world where so much of our lives seem lived for the sole purpose of sharing it on Social Media it’s good to have this reminder – that some moments are so intimate, so special that they should be kept private and that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

You don’t have to share everything with the rest of the world.

The day-to-day inner workings of your marriage should not be disclosed to other haphazardly. If you’re married we shouldn’t be able to tell that you and your spouse just had a disagreement because of your latest post. You don’t have to share every time your spouse surprises you with a gift just because.

Private moments aren’t just found in marriage they’re all around us. I had the opportunity to work with author Lana Reid and she truly is wonderful at what she does.  I loved what she said in this quote –

 

Don’t get me wrong, there is much insight that can be gleaned by others through our sharing  private moments with others. If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t have this blog. However, sometimes I think we share things prematurely and it can become a situation where we, intentionally or unintentionally, begin to rely on the attention and approval of others as a measuring stick for our happiness. 

I just wonder…if Social Media existed during Bible times would David have taken a selfie right after he had been anointed by Samuel to be the next King of Israel? David didn’t become King until years later.

What if David would have taken a selfie and posted it on Instagram like

Photo Source: http://biblefilms.blogspot.com/2014_01_01_archive.html

#anointed #nextKingofIsrael #SaulImcomingforya #bowdown – how would we feel about him today?

People, especially loyal servants of King Saul, would probably leave comments like #boystop #pumpyourbrakes and maybe even death threats (since apparently you can use social media for that kind of thing). 

Photo Source: http://www.laywhispers.com

My point is, before David became King he had to go through a process – an intimate and private process with GOD. Yes, we can read about it now and it resonates with us and it’s because David went through that process the right way. David didn’t seek to promote himself, he waited on GOD to do the promotion.

If GOD has given you something precious, be it a marriage, a child, a goal, a book idea, anything – be careful of sharing prematurely and attempting to make it happen according to your time. Check your motives for sharing. You don’t have to cause a ruckus just to inform the world of your next move…just make it.  

And remember-

Every good and perfect gift comes from GOD (James 1:17)

Promotion comes from GOD (Psalm 75: 6-7)

And Your Father who sees what is done in private will reward you openly (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18)

And when GOD rewards you openly, you don’t have to hide it….

Go ahead share that thing ALL Over social media – lol

Just remember to tell the whole story – the days you were discouraged, the tears you may have shed along the way, the times you may have failed and yet GOD remained true to His Word.

It’s Practicing. Private. and ultimately Sharing –

The right way. 

Wishing you wisdom, courage, love and peace along your journey,

-CN

Wedding Wednesdays: If I Show You I Love You…

Happy Wednesday Pilgrims!!

It’s been a while, two weeks to be exact, but it feels like forever and I feel a little rusty.

First let me say THANK YOU!! for the overwhelming response to my last post. There was an outpour of positive comments and I truly enjoyed reading them.

With 58 days left to go until our November wedding date, wedding planning has moved into the “short-term plans” category. So while we’re still working on putting the finishing touches on wedding plans, Danny and I are also working on different projects that fall just outside of those immediate plans.

As far as wedding planning goes all the major components are in place. Now the challenge for me is keeping track of all the little things that need to be checked off before the week of –

Accessories/Make-Up

Deciding How I’m Wearing My Hair #thetransitioningstruggle

Gifts

Little (or not so little) things like that. Lol.

Yesterday we met with the caterer to finalize and sign the contract.

(I can’t wait for AFTER the wedding to do a complete write-up on our caterer. Her food is amazing!)

Everything went well and while there we were part of a really good discussion on love and marriage.

As always Danny brought the Truth.

TRUTH: If I Show You I Love You…

During the discussion we had at the restaurant, it was said that living together before getting married is a good idea because then you really get to know a person. And by living together first you can decide if this is someone you can really see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

Why? In living together you may find out that a person is messy (or possesses a number of other traits that makes you crazy) and decide that you don’t want to put up with that for the rest of your life. Because more often than not, people don’t change.

But that’s not true. People CAN change. And living together before can be a faux form of commitment –

“I love you enough to live with you but if I find you’re imperfect (which more than likely I will because we will be in such close proximity) I have every right to break this temporary living arrangement and go out and find someone else that pleases me more. And whoever ends up pleasing me best is, perhaps, the one I’ll marry.”

If your “love” is about what pleases you best then let me help you, it isn’t love.

Love is others-centered. It focuses on pleasing others before pleasing itself. And it seeks to do this regardless of a person’s imperfections.

Of course during the course of this conversation Danny speaks up. Danny, refusing to keep quiet about his personal convictions and the Truth he knows, shared this –

Love is not based on someone else’s actions, love is a choice.

It doesn’t take living together, and shouldn’t take living together, before marriage to know that when you CHOOSE to marry someone, you have decided to love them regardless of their shortcomings or bad habits.

Everyone of us is flawed.

But

If I Show You I Love You

You also have a choice –

Believe me. Accept it. Embrace it. 

Or Reject it.

But understand that –

LOVE is a CHOICE.

To bestow love is a choice.

And to accept love is a choice.

And when two people decide to get married they are choosing FOREVER to both bestow love and to accept love.

That is something I’ve really been sitting with for the past couple of weeks.

I think this engagement period has been some of the most sobering times in my 11 year friendship with Danny.

Sometimes I have found it easier to bestow love and harder to accept the love shown to me. Other times its been the other way around – difficult to bestow and easy to accept.

(Sometimes the reality of this “love” thing Danny and I were creating scared me. At our best its paradise, at our work (yes work not worse) we put on our construction hats and he takes the lead. :Cue Lauryn Hill’s Can’t Take My Eyes Off You:)

I’m sure a large part of marriage is working to maintain that delicate balance of bestowing and accepting love.

“But how do people know if they’re making the right choice?”

It’s not so much about your “choice” being right, it’s more about making the choice the right way. Or as the saying goes, “It’s not about finding the right person, it’s about becoming the right person.”

Dating and Courtship is the time you use to investigate not only the other person but yourself. It’s a time to be yourself, reveal yourself, develop a solid friendship with the other person and discover if together you two have what it takes to be life partners. It’s this information that should be considered when making the choice.

Choosing to love based on the physical alone or because the other person does something for you may leave you empty in the long run.

Sometimes I think we forget how potent and all-encompassing love really is. 

1 Peter 4:8 NIV says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

LOVE covers sins?

It’s one thing to say we accept the annoying habits of our significant other but what happens when they’ve sinned against us? When they’ve hurt us deeply? Or when they do something we would never expect? Yes, that too, love can cover…if we’re willing to follow through on our choice.  It takes work.

I think if we really understood 1 Peter 4:8 our relationships would be transformed: Marriages, Parent-child relationships, friendships, how we related to strangers, all of that would change.

If I Show You I Love You

You would not need me to say it because you would be so overwhelmed with the reality of it all doubt would be driven away. ( 1 John 4:18 NIV There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.)

If I Show You I Love You

It should look like this:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NASB

“⁴ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ^7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

To my displayers of love –

My Heavenly Father and Danny –

Thank you.

May we make Real LOVE the focal point of our weddings, our marriages and our lives!

Grace. &. Peace,

-CN

 

Wedding Wednesday: Keeping Things in Perspective

Before I get into this week’s post – let me first take a moment to say

Congrats to the San Antonio Spurs for giving Miami the sound beating I knew they would get.

LOL

Okay, now that that is out of the way…on to the post.

I thought about naming this post “Stalemate,” and basically I was going to dress up a character flaw, lack of patience, as a “pet peeve” –  having to wait on other people to get back to me.

But then I remembered 3 things –

Having patience is a virtue. And this is an opportunity for me to strengthen a weak area within myself.

A conversation I had with my dad – “I hope you’re not a bridezilla…”

A piece of advice the bride and friend of mine, Martine, shared with me this weekend, “You do all this planning and want things to be perfect but it doesn’t go exactly as you planned and that’s okay.”

Those three things helped me to refocus and essentially keep things in perspective.

Amidst all the planning and waiting, which is in itself a gift, I know this to be true –

• GOD brought Daniel and I together. HE is orchestrating all things concerning us including our wedding day and our marriage.

 

• GOD will provide. Whether it’s the right vendors or the funds to accomplish everything on the wedding planning checklist, HE will make a way for us.

 

• Gratitude is greater. There is power in a grateful heart. Realizing that it doesn’t take “all” this fanfare to have a blessed marriage makes me all the more grateful that Daniel and I are in a position where we can share our joy with others.

 

• It’s time to be excited! After sharing in this past weekend’s wedding celebration of our good friends, Marc and Martine, I can’t wait for our wedding day to arrive. Even with everything not being in place.

 

• The most important detail of the wedding day are the guests. At this point it’s a given that Danny and I will be present on our wedding day. He’s locked in for life, lol. And we can do life and love and even start our marriage without the gold chargers and floral centerpieces. Those fine details are nice but at the end of the day the best memories of that day will have to do with those who are present. I saw that play out first hand this weekend.

Which brings me to my Wedding Weekend Recap:

The Wedding Celebration of Marc and Martine

Day 1. Saturday – Traditional Cameroonian Ceremony 

The Groom with his lovely Bride in traditional Cameroonian Wedding Garb

The Attendants leading the Wedding Parade on the Street

The Bride and her attendants

Day 2. Sunday – Traditional American Ceremony 

Martine preparing to enter.

Mr. and Mrs.

Reception Time.

 

The most important detail – the guests. The Bride and Groom with their small group crew.

With the Bride and Groom.

My guy.

Guess what my favorite part of the weekend was?

It was a great weekend! I have another wedding weekend in another week and a half. I actually have two weddings to attend back to back. FUN!

‘Tis the Season! For wedding bells…

Great week pilgrims!!

Keeping things in perspective,

-CN

15 Days of Optimism: The Language of Tears

Last week before choosing to embark on this challenge of 15 Days of Optimism I cried a great deal. I was almost inconsolable – almost…but not quite. At the time the tears were of exhaustion, frustration and confusion, tinged with anger and hurt.

I cried again last night. But last night they were happy tears. Tears that sprung from an overwhelming gratitude I stirred up in remembering GOD’s goodness, faithfulness and kindness towards me. Tears from feeling the tangible love of GOD surrounding me. Tears that confirmed that I am HIS and HE is mine. I couldn’t remember the last time I shed happy tears before then…

Maybe December when my fiancé surprised me with two copies of my favorite movie ever, which I didn’t own up until that point, Lion King! I balled. 😩😭 Lol. That’s a good memory for me. 😊

I used to dislike tears. I scorned them, especially my own. I viewed them as a sign of my weakness. Tears were a foreign language to me that I didn’t care to learn. I wouldn’t venture into the country of feelings and emotions so what did I need to understand tears for? At least that was my thinking. But tears are absolutely wonderful!

If tears are a language then it would be a multi-faceted language. People don’t just cry when they’re sad, or hurt, or weak. We cry for many reasons. Because we’re scared, or because we’ve worked hard and overcome, because we’re excited. Have you ever been so mad it brought tears to your eyes? Or so filled with overwhelming joy that you couldn’t help but cry? And what about laughter? Have you ever laughed so long and so hard that you tried to hold your aching sides and wipe away tears at the same time?

I won’t pretend to know all their is to know about this language that at one time was very foreign to me, but I do know crying is a powerful act. And being vulnerable enough to shed your self-protection and cry in front of another person, even more so!

Today I reflected on this language of tears and I am extremely grateful for it. The challenge today was to reflect on something I once viewed as negative and see it in a positive light. This is the positive light of Truth.

One of the most comforting thoughts that came to mind as I reflected is a cliché saying I remembered from childhood, “tears are a language GOD understands.” Even when we don’t understand why we’re crying, even if we do know but it’s difficult for us to articulate it to others, we can take heart the someone gets us, someone understands us, and if no one else GOD will be that someone.

Here’s to Tears!

-CN

15 Days of Optimism: Anchored.

&. Loved.

“When all around my soul gives way, HE then is all my hope and stay.” -Edward Mote

Dear Fellow Pilgrims,
A gentle, soft note –
GOD is here with me.
GOD is there with you.
Emmanuel.
GOD is with us.
GOD will see us through.

I thank GOD for every good thing that flows out of HIS nature and is made tangible through HIS presence.

Peace and Positivity to us all.

-CN

Wedding Wednesdays: Core Strength

Last Wedding Wednesday Poll Results (April 9th)

Which wedding detail is more important: 62.5% of voters said Floral arrangements. There was a three-way tie at 12.5% of votes for each of the other three options – Nice Table Linens, Stationery, and Chairs. Personally, I would choose the chairs. I think chairs can make or break a wedding experience because depending on the length of ceremony/reception you want to make sure that the chairs not only look nice but that they are comfortable for your guests.

In marriage, which do you think is more difficult:  57.14% of voters said “Choosing to display love regardless of how you feel and regardless of your spouse’s actions, attitudes and response.” 28.57% of voters said, “Being completely transparent with not only God but your spouse.” And 14.29% said “Letting go of personal preferences and/or opinions that don’t line up with what God says is the right way. The other two options, “Forgiving your spouse for repeated errors or offenses” and “Monitoring your emotions so that they do not hinder effective communication” did not receive any votes.

Core Strength

Two weeks ago as I sat down to write my Wedding Wednesdays post, my MacBook died.

I tried to restart it, I connected it to the charger and the charger light was on but nothing I did could revive it. I prayed and asked God to have mercy because not only did I want the computer to work again so I can continue with my posts but I need a computer for work purposes and there was no money to buy a new one. For an entire week my computer would not work.

Last Thursday, Danny encouraged me to take it to the Apple store. I acted on his advice but was still a little hesitant because I knew I did not have any extra money to pay to fix any major damage. Still, I kept the appointment and went to the Apple store. Thankfully, they were able to revive it with no problem and best of all I paid Nothing! The customer service was on point too! Shout out to my ternary team for making this week’s Wedding Wednesday post possible and allowing me to continue to work: Jesus, my fiancé Danny and the Genius Bar at the Lenox Square Apple Store.

Just had to share my praise report and biggup King Jesus.

So it’s a “thing” in American society for brides to become super body conscious when it comes to finding a wedding dress and getting in shape for the wedding. Some bridezillas even demand that their bridesmaids adhere to certain dietary restrictions or a gym regimen, all in an effort to look perfect for the “BIG” day.

I’m not really sure what body part brides obsess over the most. What do you think?

While I have been going to the gym more regularly than ever it is not in anticipation for my wedding day it’s simply been part of a conscious life style change, which I explained in my post “A Call to Passage.“

I can confess that having phenomenal abs has a certain allure to me but when I’m honest with myself I don’t want perfect abs more than good health. What I’ve discovered is the importance of core strength to your overall body. It affects balance, posture, spinal health and reinforces the way your pelvis, abs, hips, and lower back work together.

Of course this makes me consider Core strength in areas other than the physical body. What does core strength in a marriage look like? What does psychological/spiritual core strength in an individual look like?

And you may be thinking what does that have to do with Wedding Planning?

As I’ve stated before I’m looking beyond the wedding to the marriage. Wedding planning should include marriage planning as well. And our marriage planning in large part has been facilitated through the premarital class we are taking at our church.

Also, making decisions regarding the actual wedding day can be stressful and overwhelming. It is said that in times of pressure whatever is in us (at our core) comes out. When you squeeze a grape, grape juice comes out. So it’s best we know who we are at our core so that we’re not surprised at what comes out in those moments of pressure.

Core Strength in Marriage

The first thing we talked about in premarital class was making Christ the foundation of our marriage. Seriously, no other measure of strength can compare to the reassurance of building a life on the foundation of an All-Powerful, All-Knowing, Unchangeable, Unmovable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable GOD. There is no way to measure such majesty. An off-shoot of that assurance would be having a sober assessment of the commitments you and your spouse will make: a commitment to always choose love, a commitment to always choose to forgive, a commitment to communication, a commitment to serving each other out o love. 

Individual Internal Core Strength

Who we are at our core affects everything we do. If at our core we are a people pleaser then our actions and decisions will reflect that. If at our core we adhere to principals of Truth then our actions and decisions will reflect that, (P.S. Jesus is the way, the Truth, and the life; no better principal or surer foundation ijs…) For me the wedding planning process (including premarital) has been both exciting and grueling. From the start of the process until now I have seen what was in me come out and to be completely honest some of what came out wasn’t good.

But wait,

Here’s the AMAZING thing about the core –

You’re not a fruit! So whether its your physical core, the core of your relationship or marriage (or future relationship and marriage), or your internal core

 It can be TRANSFORMED! Your core can be trained and strengthened…

If you have a weak (or wrong) core now that doesn’t mean that’s how it has to be for the rest of your life. Do something about it! TODAY! Work out! Or start building your relationship/marriage on Christ and a commitment to choose love, forgiveness and service. Decide that you’re going to live a life based on Truth and nothing else.

Core training. My pops leading by example. Not bad for a 50 something year old 😉

Once you decide to make that change (:in my Man in the Mirror voice:) You may find that the core you’ve been living with is  a lie. Physically speaking, under the fat that builds up around the midsection there Are abs, but those abs aren’t always visible. Who you really are, what your relationship or marriage really is may not always be visible.

The other day I went to the gym by myself and completed a really challenging work out. When I left I felt accomplished because I saw a difference in myself. I didn’t need anyone else to motivate me. I didn’t make excuses and quit when I was tired and in pain. I finished it. And I realized, despite what I Felt (and for a long time believed) were my initial thoughts…quittin’ ain’t in me, and it never was. And all those times I bought into the lie of being a quitter (Read: The Problem of a Renewed Mind for more) I was content with hiding the real me behind the flab of past negative experiences and using them as an excuse to jump ship.

But no more. I know who I am at my core – a child of God. That is the Truth that I seek to have dictate all my actions and decisions.

My marriage will also be based on Christ the solid rock and a commitment to love, forgive and serve Danny.

That doesn’t mean I or my marriage will be perfect, it doesn’t mean that things will always be easy or go smoothly. In fact, to be honest, today I did a very sucky job at choosing to display love and Not letting my feelings (pain from a tension headache and swollen finger) get the best of me causing me to censor that display. In times past I would have beat up on myself about it. But I won’t do that because I recognized what happened and I can make adjustments.

Please understand that in no way am I insinuating that You need to do whatever it takes to get the perfect abs and be a size 2. That truly may not be who you are at your core. I am simply advocating health: physical health, a healthy sense of self, and healthy relationships that promote overall well-being. No one knows who you truly are at your core except for the manufacturer. Seek God. 

Wishing you pilgrims a journey filled with health, hope, and well being.

Yours in Core Training. &. Strengthening,

-CN

Wedding Wednesdays: You Better Shop Around

Last Week’s Wedding Wednesday Poll Results

If Big Girl Panties were a style of women’s panties they would definitely be? There was a two-way tie between Thong panties and Bikini cut panties at 33.33% each. Boy Shorts  came in next with 22.22% of all votes and hipsters received 11.11% of all votes. LOL, Hi-briefs received zero votes. I would agree with those of you who voted for Thong panties. They may not be the most comfortable of all the styles but hey sometimes life isn’t comfortable but you just deal with it, lol.

What Do Most Girl Do for a Quick Pick-Me-Up? 44.44% of voters said Listen to their favorite music. 33.33% said Get dressed up. There was a tie for third place with 11.11% of voters saying Eat ice cream or Eat their favorite food. In my case I wish I could say I ate ice cream, I love ice cream with my lactose intolerant self, lol. But no, I got dressed up, and my mood greatly improved. 

Options: The Art of

“You Better Shop Around”

 

I heart oldies.

I’m all about shopping around! But just for the record, I’m NOT talking about shopping around when it comes to relationships – that’s dangerous territory.

No, I’m talking about knowing your item purchasing options and making a wise  purchasing decision based on the facts.

Consumer Psychology is the study of how and why people buy goods and services. Studies in consumer behavior show that the decision making process for purchasing “Big ticket items” is usually longer and more involved than the decision making process for purchasing smaller, everyday items. Big ticket items are items of high-value (in theory) or just expensive in price. Examples include a house, furniture, an entertainment system or even luxury items like designer shoes and purses.

When you’re planning a wedding, especially on a budget, most everything becomes a big ticket item. You want to make sure that you’re allocating your funds correctly and not splurging in one frivolous area only to leave another more critical area lacking. For example you don’t want to have your tablescape (that’s wedding talk for table set up) decked out with all these additional fineries and then have zero money for your flowers. There’s a balance to be struck.

Photo Credit: zoe.wang https://flic.kr/p/b8iCiZ

So at this stage of our planning whether its choosing our caterer, a florist, or vendors to provide rental “stuff”, we are choosing to be good stewards. That means we are making sure that we explore our options until we strike a deal most suitable for us. Our process is the same as most people who choose to engage in the big ticket item decision making processing:

Recognizing the Need

It’s as simple as realizing that you do want a preferred hotel to suggest to your out of town guests, or that you do want to have a bouquet and bouquets for your bridesmaids. You do want food for your reception. Once you know what you want/need you can move on to the next stage.

Information Search

At this point, there is some basic information that needs to be found. If you’re working on securing hotels for guests then what hotels are in the area? Looking for party rentals, what vendors are in your area? What do they provide? In some areas you may want to think outside of the box – for example, will you only look into traditional wedding caterers or are you open to going a non-traditional route as well?  SHOP AROUND!

Evaluation of Alternatives

This is the most critical of all the stages and typically the most time consuming. Once you have a list of options or “alternatives” it’s time to compare them in order to find which is most suitable for you. Things to be considered in this stage is how a particular option fits into your budget, the overall quality (are you getting more for your money or is the value about as cut rate as the price?) and whether or not they fulfill your expectations. Compare and consider prices. Compare and consider quality. Compare and consider past reviews. To make it easy eliminate those options that do not match your criteria and then choose the best alternative from the ones you have left.

Purchase 

In wedding planning this is typically the contract agreement stage. At this point you’ve made a decision that this particular vendor meets your needs and you enter into a contractual agreement with them.

Post-Purchase Evaluation

This cannot truly happen until the wedding takes place. But ideally when the wedding has come and gone you want to know that the decision you made and the service rendered met your expectation. In any purchasing process when there is a discrepancy between the decision made for the item or service rendered and expectations, dissatisfaction results. But that’s why the evaluation stage is critical because you want to know that you’re making the best decision so that there won’t be any discrepancies.

I have discovered that I do have some non-negotiables with certain items or services. But there are other items or services that I am completely flexible with and could live without. If the funds are there, great, if not, no biggie. You have to be able to differentiate and to make the hard decisions if necessary.

Non-Negotibles in Marriage

Through pre-marital class I am learning that in a marriage that truly reflects the love of Christ for the church there is some flexibility, and you and your spouse will have many options but there are also some non-negotiables.

These non-negotiables are not expectations to be placed on our spouse but rather expectations that God places on us individually.

Once we get married and commit to each other through making vows to God, it is Expected that we love. It doesn’t matter how we feel. It’s a choice that we have committed to making regardless of the other person’s actions or attitudes and in God’s eyes that’s a non-negotiable. You have no other option. Love encompasses acts and displays of love, everything from physical intimacy, to being patient as well as apologizing when you’re wrong. It means doing your best at all times to act in a way that seeks the well being of the other person and the best interest of the marriage. This includes  praying for your spouse, encouraging and reassuring them,  being intentional about your communication with your spouse, avoiding at all costs potentially compromising situations and going the extra mile to preserve your spouse’s peace of mind.

Under that umbrella of LOVE it is Expected that we forgive. Two flawed individuals coming together forever, it is to be expected that at one time or another we will fail each other in some area, whether in communicating effectively or simply forgetting to do something. Forgiveness as a part of our choosing to love is not an option, it’s a non-negotiable. We must ALWAYS Forgive. It doesn’t matter how many times a mistake is repeated. How many times have we made the same mistake before God and yet He continuously forgave us? God forgives. We commit to reflecting the love of God in marriage. We must forgive.

We also need to be willing to let go of our personal preferences and opinions in order to retrain our minds to think correctly and see and do what is right and best in every situation.

As I go through premarital class I am finding that God is exposing areas in my life and heart and mind that need to be retrained in order for my marriage to be successful. It’s an uncomfortable process at times but I’m so thankful for the opportunity to practice and the ability to work on those things now in preparation to making official that life-long commitment.

This life journey is all about process, from wedding planning to personal growth, we’re constantly in a process.

Recognize whatever process you may be in now, and whatever you do don’t try to skip out on it, it’s for your good and you’ll be better for it!

Wishing you pilgrims wisdom in all your decision making and endurance as you process!

Love.&.Light

-CN

#NaanButTheTruth

 

 

Wedding Wednesdays: Big Girl Panties

Last Week’s Wedding Wednesday Poll Results

“Cyndi Lauper honeys” Guess that Movie? 100% of voters were correct! Brown Sugar! I LOVE that movie. It’s by far my favorite Romantic Comedy ever. Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs are my favorite onscreen couple. I crack up every time I watch that movie. I think Mos Def was hilarious in that movie too!

How Many Bridesmaids Does Cara Naan Have? 50% of voters said 3 Bridesmaids and 50% of voters said 4 Bridesmaids not including Matron and/or Maid of Honor. Both those answers are incorrect. I actually have 5 bridesmaids. :puts hands over face: That’s a lot right!? I know! Lol.

How many years has the Bridal Party person who has known Cara Naan the longest known Cara Naan? 66.67% of voters said 20 years and 33.33% of voters said 12 years. 20 is the right answer! There’s a reason I call my Chief my sister, she adopted me as her little sister when I was like 5!

Big Girl Panties

Or An Ode to Mommy Dearest

 

A short lesson on the colloquialism Put on Your Big Girl Panties: Put on your big girl panties is a colorful way of saying ‘You’re acting like a child who hasn’t been potty-trained yet: time to grow up, act like an adult and do what needs to be done.’

I literally had to tell myself that yesterday morning.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday morning, in anticipation of having to run an errand associated with wedding planning by myself. I was ready to have a full-scale tantrum:

Ugh, I don’t want to plan a wedding. Daniel has to work, I don’t even want to go by myself. I want my mommy! It’s not fair that I have to be planning a wedding without my mom here with me every girl should have her mom with her…

Ultra dramatic bridezilla moment much? Definitely lol. In any case, that’s how I woke up. A very sour mood. But I quickly checked myself and did not give in to the tantrum that was trying to form inside of me. I told God “JK Daddy, this will be an awesome day. I can do this! I want this.”

I proceeded to do what most girls do when they want a quick pick-me-up.

During the months of January and February I focused the majority of, if not, all my reading and study on the life of Abraham [Genesis 12 to 23]. As I was driving out of my complex yesterday I wondered to myself if at any point on his journey Abraham missed the family that God had called him out from. I wondered if he was ever tempted by his feelings to turn around and go back home, after all he had no idea where he was going all he knew was that he was going with God. But I answered my own questions, even if Abraham FELT that way at some point on his journey it doesn’t matter. Why? Because he didn’t turn around.

That’s what Big Girl Panties mean to me. It’s being in a position where I manage my feelings. My feelings don’t direct me. This process has not been ideal for me. My mom and my bridesmaids all live out of town. Daniel and I have conflicting work schedules which makes it extremely difficult to run errands together. But all in all I’m learning that ideal or not I can handle it. I surprised myself yesterday with getting myself back on track. I didn’t need to vent to God and whine to Him. I was joyful and grateful and able to share that with Him instead of complaining.

To add the icing to the cake I spoke to my mother after running the errand.

At the time of our conversation I shared with her that it was clear there was yet another hurdle that we would have to be jump but I wasn’t worried about it.

Worried?

No.

Hungry and tired?

Yes.

Would I be doing anymore running and around to try and resolve that issue? No. Because if another tantrum was ready to form I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep it at bay on an empty stomach. There wasn’t much I could do then anyway so we both agreed going home and eating was the best move.

Growing up, those who know me best will say that I was a Daddy’s girl. That is true. I’m not ashamed, my Daddy still means the world to me. He was my first example of a good, loving and strong man!  But as I’ve grown into a woman, (Woman is such a strong word! LOL.) I’ve grown to appreciate my mother so much more than I did when I was a child! I always thought my mom was perfect, even when I was younger. Not perfect in the sense of having no flaws or doing no wrong but perfect in the sense of this ultra holy other. And as an imperfect tomboy who would rather be running around in baggy shorts than learning the ins and outs of keeping house in a dress, I resented that. We were constantly at odds, and though I didn’t know it, because she would always show us her strong side, I hurt her feelings as much as, if not more, than I thought she hurt mine. Still, she never let her hurt feelings detour her from teaching me the right way. Even in times when I have strayed whether in cooking regularly, or keeping a clean house or even godliness and self-control, it was never for a lack of teaching or a lack of an example on her part.

We still drive each other crazy sometimes but our relationship has blossomed beautifully, and we have a greater understanding and appreciation for one another thanks be to Our God who restores.

During this wedding planning process I talk to her often. She has great organizational skills, which I sometimes lack. She is a get-this-done-right-away woman whereas I still have some procrastinating ways about me. Smh. LOL. Long story short she definitely adds to the balance I need at this time by simply being in my corner. We haven’t gone wedding dress shopping yet but I can’t wait for that time!!

Anyhoo…I was sharing with her yesterday about my morning and how I woke up off balance but managed to regulate myself without having a tantrum. I told her about wishing she was there to help me…and you know what she said?

“You don’t need me. You can do this. You’re strong.”

You may not understand how monumental of a moment that was for me, so let me break it down. Like I said I always thought my mom was perfect. Of course there were times when she may have been wrong but one thing I can say is that I never witnessed her lie. She went on to tell me how much she believes in me and that’s why she’s so invested in this wedding and isn’t worried because she believes that God is in it and will work everything out. She told me that I amaze her! Oh my gosh just recalling that moment yesterday brings tears to my eyes…

I didn’t cry then because honestly I was in shock! Not at what she said as much as how and when it came out.

I think every woman, deep down inside, wants her mother, whether living or dead, to one day see her as a woman and also to be proud of her as a woman.

I can say that my best feminine qualities (compassion, a nurturing nature, house keeping, etc.) come from my mother’s teaching and her example even if and when those qualities were nurtured by other women around. I am me because of her. I’ve always known her to be strong, kind, and loving. I’ve seen her submit to her husband and allow him to lead her. Her example is a large part of the confidence I have in myself when it comes to marriage. I can do this. And to have her echo those same sentiments yesterday was everything!

 

10 Things I learned from my mommy:

Ultimately, Submitting to your husband is the equivalent of loving your husband.

• Respect him as the man of the house. Make decisions together but always recognize that he is not just the head but your head.
• Never discuss him in a negative way whether he is present or absence.
• Be strong but allow him to be there for you, never shut him out.
• When troubles arise, you may forgive and forget, your friends will not. The issues in your marriage are none of your friends business. The issues in your marriage are no one’s business except you and your husband and should not be shared with anyone not even parents and siblings unless there is a threat of physical danger or the issue is serious enough that the two of you decide together to seek help from an authorized outside source.
• You cannot run home to mommy and daddy every time there’s a problem. We love you but if you run to us we’ll wave from the window and tell you to go back and work it out.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. (That’s not even in the Bible but…lol…okay…)

• A clean house adds to a happy home. Need I say more?

Don’t be afraid to work hard for what you believe in.

• That road often requires sacrifice to achieve what you want.

Be a gracious hostess.

• A happy woman doesn’t mind entertaining guests and welcoming people into her home, announced or unannounced. (IDK about that unannounced bit but…I did get it.)

Invest in people without wanting anything in return because people are inherently valuable.

• My mother has been a Sunday School Teacher, a youth leader, a women’s ministry leader, a role-model, a surrogate mother, a friend and so many other different things to so many different people and she’s done it out of love never once expecting anything in return.
• She believes that all people are valuable and has always been willing to go the extra mile to spend extra time with those who are in need.
• She has always given her time, prayers, and money without looking for a return on investment.

Family First. 

• Once you’re a married woman, your husband and then your children when they come along become your number one priority.
• Career. Personal goals and achievements, even your closest family and friends come second to the preservation of the family unit.

If all you have is Hope and Faith you have more than enough.

• When things are dark and grim, you cannot give up. Let the hope you have in your heart and the faith you have in God be the fuel you need to push past the rut and keep going!
• Cry if you have to, scream if you must, crawl if you can’t walk but whatever you do, don’t quit!

“You’re not here for your good looks” 

And that’s a direct quote lol. Gotta love Jamaicans.

• Immediate Ramifications: You may think you’re pretty but you’re a part of this family so you better get these chores done! LOL.
• Real meaning: You weren’t created to be told you’re beautiful or to be admired simply for your beauty, you were created for a purpose. Do something meaningful with your life. Affect change, no matter how small it may seem.

Whatever you do, do it well.

• Whether it’s cleaning your bathroom, or working as a janitor. Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability and to the glory of God.

If you know God, know that it will all work out in the end.

• Since all that I meet, shall work for my good, the bitter is sweet, the medicine [is] food. Though painful at times, ‘twil cease before long, and oh how sweet the conqueror’s song. (A hymn that my mother would quote, often.)
• And we know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
• Your bad days, your bitter disappointments, your failures, God uses those too and they are still all working together for your good.
• Jeremiah 29:11

Mommies are awesome! So, they may not Always know best, but they sure do know a lot and it comes out looking like the best Most of the time!!

I got my big girl panties on and I know I can handle whatever comes my way, thanks in LARGE part to the amazing example of my mommy dearest.

Mommy wow! I’m, a, wo-man now!

LOL

Share the love. Show your mom some appreciation, whether it’s a call, a hug, or honoring her memory with your thoughts – she’s worth it!

Good day to you pilgrims. Wishing you and super moms everywhere love and light!

-CN

#NaanButTheTruth

Wedding Wednesdays: Girls Just Wanna…

Last Week’s Wedding Wednesday Poll Results

Other Than Venue Location what are the other most important factors? 42.86% of all who voted said The food. & The music. And another 42.86% said The food. & The dress. And 14% said The dress. & The rings.

That’s a difficult one. Music is a factor because it tends to set the tone of an event and can create a great atmosphere. Rings are important because you’ll be wearing them every day, for the rest of your lives, still in my mind they’re not a major factor in wedding planning.

But if I had to choose I would probably go with the food and the dress as major factors in wedding planning. You want your guests to like the food. And as a bride when you take that walk down the aisle and all eyes are on you, you definitely want to be in love with your dress!

Aside from Budget the deciding factor for choosing a venue is usually…? 50% answered “Whatever the bride wants based on her style or personality.” LOL. Seems a little bridezilla-ish to me but okay! 17% of you said “The number of and type of guests.” “The couple’s style” and “The couple’s personality” are tied with 16.67% each.

In our case, the deciding factor for Daniel and I was ultimately based on our style as a couple more than anything else. We came to a mutual agreement.

Cara Naan I see your wedding as being…? 33.33% of you said A Destination Wedding. The idea of a destination wedding is appealing to a degree to me but ultimately not my style. There was a three way tie between A Traditional Wedding, A Backyard Wedding, and a Quirky Wedding at 16.67% each. And 17% of votes were for A Mezcla Wedding – A combination of any two of the above.

We’re not having a destination wedding. I would definitely describe our wedding as the best of both worlds. Which two worlds you ask? Time will tell :winks atchu:

 Thank you for reading and for voting! I love to see and share the poll results!!

Girls Just Wanna Whaaaa?

“I like to refer to them as the Cyndi Lauper honeys. Because they just want to have fun.”

Guess that movie! And don’t google the quote either, where’s the fun in that? lol :sticks out tongue:

In my first Wedding Wednesdays post “First Things First”,  I briefly mentioned the importance of choosing your Bridal Party. Today’s post gets a little more involved.

The old saying goes, “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.” 

Your choice in friends is a reflection of who you Really are. While you may think you and your best friends are total opposites you’re probably more alike than you know. So if you tell me all your friends are thieves, I’m inclined to believe that you have some thief-ish ways about you and I probably won’t leave my valuables out around you…

Once you’ve found your venue and set the date it’s time to choose/notify your Wedding Party.

Things to Consider When Choosing Your Bridal Party

How Many? How many people will be a part of your wedding party. The wedding party includes the Matron or Maid of Honor (sometimes both), Best Man, Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen. When it’s time to decide you may already have a number in mind. But if you don’t know where to start and have no number in mind, theKnot.com suggests you have at least one groomsman and one corresponding bridesmaid for every 50 guests. The Flower Girl and Ring Bearer are also considered part of the Wedding Party.

Who? So who do you invite to be a part of your wedding party? The answer is anyone you want! Although, preference is typically given to close family members first. Still, ultimately, you should not be choosing people out of obligation. Invite those people who bring out the best in you, who you can be yourself with, and who will support you and your marriage journey long after the wedding day has passed.

Why? It’s important to choose the people you want so that you can enjoy the entire experience. For the most part if you’re as important to those in your wedding party as they are to you then they will do everything in their power to shoulder any responsibilities and/or expenses that come with accepting your invitation to be a part of the wedding.

Notification. Once you’ve set your date you want to invite and notify those individuals you would like to be a part of your Wedding Party ASAP! You want these people to have as much advanced notice as possible so they can keep your wedding in mind as they make their future plans. Be up front about any responsibilities and expenses so that everyone is on the same page.

Daniel and I have divided our responsibility to organizing the wedding party in half. I’m responsible for the girls and he’s responsible for the guys. That’s one reason I titled this post what I did.

Obviously, I’m biased but I believe I have the best bridal party ever! They’re perfect for me!! I have already informally asked all of them (Matron and bridesmaids) and they have accepted. However, they also know a more official proposal is in the works.

Cyndi Lauper would tell you that “Girls just wanna have fun.”

Beyonce may say, “Who run the world? Girls.”

And maybe there still exists a widespread way of thinking that suggests that girls spend their entire childhood planning the perfect wedding, and just want to grow up, hunt men all in an effort to win one over, get a nice shiny ring and be financially secure.

But if I had to make a generalization about women based on the ladies who will be in my bridal party I would say that –

Girls Just Wanna Grow Up to Be Kind and Ambitious Women. 

I’m definitely excited about getting together with all the ladies in my bridal party because I know we’re going to have a blast! Do we like to have a good time? Heck yeah!! But there’s so much more to each one of these ladies than just a few good laughs…

Each one of the ladies in my bridal party inspires me in some way! They are some of the nicest, kindest, and wisest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. They are perfectly imperfect and are candid and transparent. They are funny. They are ambitious.  They are risk takers. They are willing to sacrifice for what they believe in. I have never seen them give up. I’ve seen them get tired, I’ve seen them discouraged, but I have never seen them beaten! And this is just the bridal party! The same is true for of all of my female guests.

Through the years God has surrounded me with inspiring women! These are my friends, my peers, my mentors, my sisters, women who are young enough to be my little sister and women old enough to be my grandmother and I’m so proud to be associated with them. I can only hope that when those who don’t know me see my friends that they will believe the best of me based on the exemplary lives led by these phenomenal women who are so dear to my heart.

If you’re reading this and you are a woman, I want you to know that whether you are invited to be a physical part of this wedding or not, know that you are still my honored guest even if it’s only via internet.

If you’re a kind, ambitious woman then CHEERS to you! I salute you. And the world is better off because you’re here! 

As women society wants us to be man-eaters, to be in competition with each other, to gossip about each other rather than to celebrate each other and our accomplishments.

Let’s go against the grain together! If you’re a woman let’s learn what God teaches us about being a lady, a sister, a lover of all and what he teaches us about letting a man be a man. If you’re a man then learn what God teaches you about being a man and how you should treat women.

Here honoring the ladies in my life and all my fellow female pilgrims,

-CN

#NaanButTheTruth