Wedding Wednesdays: First Things First

I truly believe that we are all called to lives of transparency and one way I aim to exercise my own sharing ability is through my blog.

One of the most important days of my journey seems to be fast approaching and I want to include you all as much as possible!

So a few housekeeping items for these Wedding Wednesday Posts:

The Marriage is More Important than the actual Wedding Ceremony and Reception. I know this and whole heartedly believe this. Danny and I are taking steps to prepare for our marriage and not simply our wedding, that includes premarital class and mentorship from married couples.

While marriage is the more important matter, I decided to go with Wedding Wednesday instead of Marriage Monday because I’m not married right now! However, you can expect me to share any gems I’ve learned about marriage.

The Wedding is still important. Why? On your wedding day you make a commitment to GOD (oh, you thought it was just to your significant other? well, you’d be mistaken). You make a vow to GOD first and your spouse secondly in front of witnesses to remain faithful to your spouse come what may (good, bad, ugly) until you take your last breath. So amidst all the fanfare that typically surrounds a wedding celebration, and even wedding planning, pausing to reflect on making a vow to God in front of people is very sobering.

I chose Wedding Wednesdays as a way to share with you because you matter to me. Each one of you who has ever taken the time to read any one of my posts matters to me. Even those people who have never read this post matter to me. Why? Because everyone matters! If I had a bottomless budget then I would invite as many people as I could to share in such a momentous occasion but the reality is that won’t be possible. Still, I want as many of you as possible to share in this with me even if its only by way of the internet. I promise to make you as a reader feel very much a part by including a poll or two during each post that ask your thoughts and opinions and of course your comments are always welcomed!

My disclaimer (yes, there is a disclaimer) about your inclusion is this: With the polls a majority vote will not sway my personal decisions. And 9.5 times out of 10 my decision(s) will have already been made before asking the question(s). Also, this blog is entirely based on my personal discretion. With that being said I won’t share specifics on Everything before hand but shortly after the fact, I assure you there will be plenty of photos and video for your viewing pleasure. 

Now On To Our FirST Wedding Wednesday POST:

First Things First

photo-2I’m engaged! Yay!! Now what?

:Shrugs, Enjoys Being Engaged, Procrastinates:

That’s a very accurate description of my process so far. I was overwhelmed with the idea of actually really being engaged. And overwhelmed again at the thought of having to plan a wedding. So when I was asked that “most-asked-question” my answer was ‘No.’

Which in some ways is a little surprising since I usually have such a hard time saying no.

But after the initial phases of being overwhelmed, mostly in a good way, enjoying an engagement period with no thoughts of wedding planning but much prayer and some procrastination I realized it was time to get the ball rolling.

Can I just say that wedding planning is truly a monster of a special kind? I was completely convinced that I would be the most un-bridezilla bride ever but somehow I’m already beginning to question that. LOL.

Bridezillasketchcartoon

So once you’re engaged what aspects of wedding planning should become priority?

Prayer. It is a Very NECESSARY part of wedding planning! I have truly been in constant communication with God whether to find a release for my random moments of excitement (especially when I’m alone in my office at work), a vent for my frustrations and concerns and for His help and peace of mind. I can be a worry wart sometimes. But I choose to believe I’ll be cured of that by the time this process is over.

Finding a Venue and Setting a Date. So initially, I went about this the wrong way. I was more focused on finding a venue than picking a date. Part of the reason was procrastination and some of it was fear of committing myself to a certain date. So my conversation with Danny was something like this:

Me: “We find a venue we like and see what dates they have available.”

Him: “No, that’s not how it works. You pick a date and then find a venue you like and go from there.”

One of many reasons why I need him in life, to show me a better way, the right way even!

Choosing the Bridal Party. These will be the people closest to you on your Wedding Day. They should be people you love and trust. People who will not only enjoy your day with you and have a good time but will be there to encourage you in your journey years down the line! Choosing your bridal party is a top priority because once you have your date, you want to make sure these people have enough advanced notice and time to plan, especially if they are coming in from out of town. That way they have ample time to plan and save money for whatever attire or plane ticket purchases or hotel room booking etc.

I believe that centering on God, having the support of my fiancé, our family & friends and keeping the entire process in proper perspective will ultimately be what will get me through this new and exciting time.

Journey with me!?

Take the polls. Comment. Let’s laugh a little.

As always, wishing you fellow pilgrims a journey filled with love & light

-CN

#NaanButTheTruth

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12 thoughts on “Wedding Wednesdays: First Things First”

  1. Well written! So much I could have taken out of this before tying the knot almost three years ago and now divorced. However, I read another one of your post, Passage, and I’ve continued to find peace in knowing that maybe my plans weren’t in God’s plans. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Hi lady! Thanks for leaving your mark on this post. Definitely didn’t know about that part of your journey. Continue to keep courage though because even when our plans and decisions our outside of God’s perfect will (as revealed through His Word) they are still part of God’s eternal plan (as revealed through time). You are exactly were God knew you would be and planned for you to be! When we’re in tune with God, we’re always better off because He can and will give us the “heads up” if we’re truly willing to hear and obey.

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  2. This is great Cara! God hasn’t led me to my husband yet, I got more lessons to learn. This definitely puts things in perspective. If God is at the helm you can never fail, especially in marriage. And i absolutely love Danny’s input. I think he should contribute at times too.

    I was questioning the Purpose Of Marriage In A Facebook Post-deep I know- but I identified my problem- i fear losing the happiness of having a husband and marriage, which is why I’m single and abstaining from most male interaction. I’m loving myself more everyday with God’s help and I’m content. But apart of me feels like …If I was married I will have a best friend and soulmate that I will be forever spiritual connected to…. almost like a constant Euphoric state. Is this weird?

    .P.S. love , Love LOVE the polls!

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    1. “If God is at the helm you can never fail,” absolutely! I couldn’t have said that better myself. The part we as humans have to work on from our end is keeping God at the helm. He won’t fight for control of our lives He patiently waits for us to submit to Him! So glad you like the polls!! 😊 And having Danny contribute is an awesome idea…it’ll prob take a little convincing but I don’t think that will be a problem. I know he’s there to help me help myself help him. Lol.

      On to the heart of your comment though, fear. Fear will paralyze you and steal your joy. And it will always find a way to rear it’s ugly head. I know this from experience. And even not too long ago I feared that Danny would change his mind about us having a serious relationship and so I tried to beat him to the punch. I did and said little things to sabotage the relationship and if he wasn’t such a kind, patient man he would have left and would have had every right to. That brings me to your next point about marrying your best friend more or less equaling a constant euphoric state. I think as singles we would like to believe that. But as I’m learning through my own engagement process and premarital class, nothing could be further from the truth! In fact most people so much expect that constant euphoric state in marriage that at the first sign of difficulty they’re ready to bail. What I do know is that marriage should be and can be unlike any other relationship we’ve ever experienced in our life. It should be and can be the relationship that most reflects the undying, steadfast love that Christ has for His church. If the man rather than being self seeking, serves the woman; and the woman rather than being self seeking serves the man then both people will be fulfilled without having to place any demands or expectations that ultimately lead to ultimatums.

      But is there someone out there with whom you’ll be compatible with, attracted to, and who will be willing to understand you and grow with you? Absolutely! And you’ll meet him at exactly the right time. While there are some good looking distractions out there that may get you into trouble, you don’t have to shy away from men all together to avoid them. Instead, trust our Heavenly Father to guard your heart and to reveal those you should stay clear of. Because we can’t rely on ourselves, even with our best efforts to stay on guard we’ll let ourselves down.

      Love you girl!!

      And thanks so much for leaving your tracks. 😉☺️

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  3. Thanks for sharing Cara. I love reading your blog. Its especially nice reading about your process. And plus you make it so much fun to read.

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  4. It took me a while to get to your blog cuz but I found it. Awesome article and so fitting for us right now. Happy Planning!

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