Wedding Wednesdays: Core Strength

Last Wedding Wednesday Poll Results (April 9th)

Which wedding detail is more important: 62.5% of voters said Floral arrangements. There was a three-way tie at 12.5% of votes for each of the other three options – Nice Table Linens, Stationery, and Chairs. Personally, I would choose the chairs. I think chairs can make or break a wedding experience because depending on the length of ceremony/reception you want to make sure that the chairs not only look nice but that they are comfortable for your guests.

In marriage, which do you think is more difficult:  57.14% of voters said “Choosing to display love regardless of how you feel and regardless of your spouse’s actions, attitudes and response.” 28.57% of voters said, “Being completely transparent with not only God but your spouse.” And 14.29% said “Letting go of personal preferences and/or opinions that don’t line up with what God says is the right way. The other two options, “Forgiving your spouse for repeated errors or offenses” and “Monitoring your emotions so that they do not hinder effective communication” did not receive any votes.

Core Strength

Two weeks ago as I sat down to write my Wedding Wednesdays post, my MacBook died.

I tried to restart it, I connected it to the charger and the charger light was on but nothing I did could revive it. I prayed and asked God to have mercy because not only did I want the computer to work again so I can continue with my posts but I need a computer for work purposes and there was no money to buy a new one. For an entire week my computer would not work.

Last Thursday, Danny encouraged me to take it to the Apple store. I acted on his advice but was still a little hesitant because I knew I did not have any extra money to pay to fix any major damage. Still, I kept the appointment and went to the Apple store. Thankfully, they were able to revive it with no problem and best of all I paid Nothing! The customer service was on point too! Shout out to my ternary team for making this week’s Wedding Wednesday post possible and allowing me to continue to work: Jesus, my fiancé Danny and the Genius Bar at the Lenox Square Apple Store.

Just had to share my praise report and biggup King Jesus.

So it’s a “thing” in American society for brides to become super body conscious whenswetwed2 it comes to finding a wedding dress and getting in shape for the wedding. Some bridezillas even demand that their bridesmaids adhere to certain dietary restrictions or a gym regimen, all in an effort to look perfect for the “BIG” day.

I’m not really sure what body part brides obsess over the most. What do you think?

While I have been going to the gym more regularly than ever it is not in anticipation for my wedding day it’s simply been part of a conscious life style change, which I explained in my post “A Call to Passage.

I can confess that having phenomenal abs has a certain allure to me but when I’m honest with myself I don’t want perfect abs more than good health. What I’ve discovered is the importance of core strength to your overall body. It affects balance, posture, spinal health and reinforces the way your pelvis, abs, hips, and lower back work together.

Of course this makes me consider Core strength in areas other than the physical body. What does core strength in a marriage look like? What does psychological/spiritual core strength in an individual look like?

And you may be thinking what does that have to do with Wedding Planning?

As I’ve stated before I’m looking beyond the wedding to the marriage. Wedding planning should include marriage planning as well. And our marriage planning in large part has been facilitated through the premarital class we are taking at our church.

Also, making decisions regarding the actual wedding day can be stressful and whatsinyoucomesoutoverwhelming. It is said that in times of pressure whatever is in us (at our core) comes out. When you squeeze a grape, grape juice comes out. So it’s best we know who we are at our core so that we’re not surprised at what comes out in those moments of pressure.

Core Strength in Marriage

The first thing we talked about in premarital class was making Christ the foundation of our marriage. Seriously, no other measure of strength can compare to the reassurance of building a life on the foundation of an All-Powerful, All-Knowing, Unchangeable, Unmovable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable GOD. There is no way to measure such majesty. An off-shoot of that assurance would be having a sober assessment of the commitments you and your spouse will make: a commitment to always choose love, a commitment to always choose to forgive, a commitment to communication, a commitment to serving each other out o love. 

Individual Internal Core Strength

Who we are at our core affects everything we do. If at our core we are a people pleaser then our actions and decisions will reflect that. If at our core we adhere to principals of Truth then our actions and decisions will reflect that, (P.S. Jesus is the way, the Truth, and the life; no better principal or surer foundation ijs…) For me the wedding planning process (including premarital) has been both exciting and grueling. From the start of the process until now I have seen what was in me come out and to be completely honest some of what came out wasn’t good.

But wait,

Here’s the AMAZING thing about the core –

You’re not a fruit! So whether its your physical core, the core of your relationship or marriage (or future relationship and marriage), or your internal core

 It can be TRANSFORMED! Your core can be trained and strengthened…

If you have a weak (or wrong) core now that doesn’t mean that’s how it has to be for the rest of your life. Do something about it! TODAY! Work out! Or start building your relationship/marriage on Christ and a commitment to choose love, forgiveness and service. Decide that you’re going to live a life based on Truth and nothing else.

Core training. My pops leading by example. Not bad for a 50 something year old 😉

Once you decide to make that change (:in my Man in the Mirror voice:) You may find that the core you’ve been living with is  a lie. Physically speaking, under the fat that builds up around the midsection there Are abs, but those abs aren’t always visible. Who you really are, what your relationship or marriage really is may not always be visible.

The other day I went to the gym by myself and completed a really challenging work out. When I left I felt accomplished because I saw a difference in myself. I didn’t need anyone else to motivate me. I didn’t make excuses and quit when I was tired and in pain. I finished it. And I realized, despite what I Felt (and for a long time believed) were my initial thoughts…quittin’ ain’t in me, and it never was. And all those times I bought into the lie of being a quitter (Read: The Problem of a Renewed Mind for more) I was content with hiding the real me behind the flab of past negative experiences and using them as an excuse to jump ship.

But no more. I know who I am at my core – a child of God. That is the Truth that I seek to have dictate all my actions and decisions.

My marriage will also be based on Christ the solid rock and a commitment to love, forgive and serve Danny.

That doesn’t mean I or my marriage will be perfect, it doesn’t mean that things will always be easy or go smoothly. In fact, to be honest, today I did a very sucky job at choosing to display love and Not letting my feelings (pain from a tension headache and swollen finger) get the best of me causing me to censor that display. In times past I would have beat up on myself about it. But I won’t do that because I recognized what happened and I can make adjustments.

Please understand that in no way am I insinuating that You need to do whatever it takes to get the perfect abs and be a size 2. That truly may not be who you are at your core. I am simply advocating health: physical health, a healthy sense of self, and healthy relationships that promote overall well-being. No one knows who you truly are at your core except for the manufacturer. Seek God. 

Wishing you pilgrims a journey filled with health, hope, and well being.

Yours in Core Training. &. Strengthening,

-CN

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