Dear Paris…

Dear Paris* –

You suck! And this is why…

I know too much about you.  You no longer look appealing. It has nothing to do with how good looking you are but everything to do with who you are. You are your past experiences. Everything I didn’t want and more. Whether the more is good or bad is up for discussion.

You know too much about me. Therefore you undermine the way I feel. You don’t take me seriously and that seriously irks my nerve. I am a woman and I have the right to be emotional. As the man you have the right to let me. When I have calmed down and returned to my senses then and only then is it okay for you to make light of the situation. Until such time back off and let me cool down. Poking fun at me only causes me to resent you all the more.

It’s not fair that while you parade to be some chivalrous gentleman that I must recoil into this shell of a woman that you have placed me in. I have told you I am not jealous. And yet you continue to prance about with other fair maidens. I have told you that I am not ill-tempered and yet you continue to test the waters with me to see what it is that will raise the temperature of my blood to a boil. And if ever I look as though I may be unhappy you look at me with such disdain as if to say “I knew you were like the rest of them.”

Well enough.

Let it be known that it is not I that said I needed you but you who decided that you wanted me. I was doing just fine before you ever came along and should you leave I would get along quite the same as I had in times past. I will not sit here and let you make a fool of me – taking me for granted and the deciding when it is or isn’t convenient for you to make time for me. We could have left things as they were but no you insisted on making me feel as though you were sincere. Trickery – of the worst kind.

When you read this – you will of course chide me for not coming to you sooner. With a straight face you will lie to me and tell me that you are my friend. But you are not. You are only my lover. Lover of what? That has yet to be revealed. My body and spirit is free of you but you have chained my heart and mind to you. I now humbly ask for their release.

I can tolerate no more of your sweet and charming remarks which belittle the way I feel passing them off as insignificant. It is not okay with me for you to don your valiant steed and ride off into the horizon and say nothing of when I should be expecting your return. It’s not okay that you tip toe back into my life in the middle of the day with some excuse as to why we lost contact. I’m tired of it. And to relieve myself of that stress and you from doing more than you’d like it’s best that I draw the line.

If I have ever mislead you to believe that I do not feel as other women do then please forgive me. I do feel. I have felt. I did feel for you. However, no knight is worth the distress that my mind falls into when I’m dealing with someone of your caliber. I’m sorry that you suck. With this letter I from thee take my leave.

Never.

Ever.

To return.

For though I am small I am still all woman.

With a love immortal that burns hotter for my sanity than for your charm-

Amorette**

—

* Paris is a Greek name meaning  “lover”

** Amorette is French for “little love”

A letter somewhere between the modern world and the middle ages