X-Ray Wednesdays: Marriage And The Freeze. Fight. &. Flight. Responses.

This post has moved to: http://www.findlayhouse.com/the-bedroom/2015/03/04/x-ray-wednesdays-marriage-and-the-freeze-fight-flight-responses

Here’s an excerpt!

Happy Wednesday Pilgrims!! 

I pray this post finds you well.  It has been six weeks since my last post. I stepped away from the blog for a time in order to focus on all the adjustments that needed to be made from transitions at work to just focusing on being married. It’s be a LONG while but I believe it was indeed a very needed and necessary break.

In other news –

Danny and I have been married for 4 months!

It’s been more of a blessing than we could have ever imagined, and also more of a challenge than we could have ever prepared for. But we’re doing it.

Marriage is certainly not for the faint in heart.

Marriage and the Freeze. Fight. or. Flight. Responses


The acute stress response in physiology is described as a physiological reaction to a stressor that is perceived as a harmful attack or threat to survival.

People normally respond in one of three ways – Freeze. Fight. or. Flight.

FreezeTo freeze is to do nothing. Essentially you believe the situation is hopeless and there’s Nothing you Can do.

Fight To fight is to oppose or come against the threat

FlightTo flee the environment in which the threat exists.

But what happens when the “perceived threat” is in your marriage?


Are Freeze. Fight. And/Or Flight? The correct responses then?


11 thoughts on “X-Ray Wednesdays: Marriage And The Freeze. Fight. &. Flight. Responses.”

  1. Congrats on your new marriage! It sounds like you are off to a great start and it’s wonderful that you are recognizing these potential issues early on and identifying ways to cope with both internal and external conflicts. Newlyweds and seasoned married people alike need to read this! I love the way you break it down and show how the marriage is NOT the problem. Thank you for sharing.


    1. Thank you so much for the congrats! And thank you for reading. So wonderful to meet you Abby and the rest of the CBCE crew!! 🙂


  2. I enjoyed reading your post. Learning to become one with each other is
    all about, what you discussed, learned and shared. Too many marriages are unwilling to do what you and your husband are following and the result is divorce. It’s also good that you are starting early in the marriage in developing honest communication. I’m glad you shared this great message.


    1. Hi Walter,

      Thank you so much for reading and leaving your thoughts. I have learned, the hard way, that honest communication is key. I also find that the more I practice it, the easier it gets. 🙂


  3. Congrats! And welcome to the CBCE. 🙂 I appreciate the insight you have already in your marriage. It can be a lot of work but it is well worth it. Sin is the problem, not marriage, not our spouse. Healthy marriages is something I have a heart for! There is a lot of brokenness out there when it comes to marriage and I appreciate you working to help provide hope and guidance. We are attending our second “Weekend to Remember” Marriage Conference soon and are very excited. You get what you put in to a marriage. God bless and congrats again. 🙂


    1. So wonderful to meet you Kristi! And thank you for welcoming me into the CBCE crew 🙂 I love it there already!! Thank you kindly for the congratulations too. As you rightly said sin is absolutely the problem. I’m so glad you will be able to attend the “Weekend to Remember” conference. I’ve heard great things about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Grace and Peace to you!!


  4. Goggled Fight and Flight Response and how it affects marriage, and located this post. Excellent! To be married for such a short time, you have a sound understanding of long-term marriage commitment. Love the 4 truths!


    1. Hi Debbie, thanks so much for leaving your thoughts with me. I treasure each one! Pre-marital saved my marriage before it even began – so thankful for that experience. My husband and I continue to share our journey on our new site – http://www.findlayhouse.com, please visit us there when you have the time!


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