The title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the content. Really this is just an update. I was going to entitle this post Declare Yourself but so as not to get it confused with the Declare Yourself political campaign I decided to go with something else.
So the past few days have been more than interesting to say the least.
I had two job interviews with one more to go and I’m believing that something good will come from them…to be more specific a job…one that allows me to do something I like/love.
Since my last post I’ve been thinking a lot about myself. Yes! How narcissistic of me. :: Shrugs ::
Before you “judge” me :rolls eyes: Let me explain. I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am (as far as I know), what I want (and how that lines up with GOD’s plan and call and will) and what I’ve actually done about all of that.
Here’s some of the things I’ve been mulling over in my mind:
I’m a little paranoid.
I have a fear of commitment.
Over the years I’ve developed a fear and a strong dislike of the spotlight.
I’m a writer. But I don’t feel like one very often or even view myself as one.
Passion. That’s an intense word. What is it that I’m truly passionate about?
People lie. What do you do with that?
God’s plan and His call can not be thwarted. It’s coming to pass!
I understand the phrase “ignorance is bliss” a little more these days. Once upon a time I was this girl who was extremely sure of herself and what she wanted out of life. These days my vision is a lot more blurry than it used to be.
One highlight over these last few days has been a conversation with my younger brother where (to sum it all up) he told me to risk it all, to write my heart out, and to sleep less. For the majority of the conversation I was extremely frustrated to say the least. We usually get on each other’s case though him more on mine than me on his, and I’m older! What the…I told him of course he can live a carefree life he’s a boy he can get away with it. But he reminded me that a lot of time the limitations we think exist are ones we create ourselves. Surprisingly (at least to me anyway) there was a lot of wisdom in that conversation and though painful at times it was productive. Hmmm…sometimes pain is a good indicator of productivity. How hard are we really pushing ourselves if there’s no pain?
Bottom line is I can’t just accept that there’s more to life and then not go after the more. I’m ready to soar. I’m ready to do whatever it takes. I’m ready to ask the hard questions and to move out of my comfort zone. Mental preparedness is good. However, I also need to set myself in a position that shows I’m open to the move of God and ready to go when His gun sounds! “Annnnnnnd she’s off!”
My new space is growing on me. I’ve been here for about a month now. I like it. A lot actually. Here I am.
Take to the sky! Our time here is limited. Might as well shine like a super nova.