Update: Great Expectations

So on January 20th of this year I wrote a post called

Great Expectations (you can read it here https://seespeakshare.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/great-expectations/)

In it I set Five Expectations that I hoped to have met before my birthday on October 23rd. Since this is November 23rd – exactly one month after my birthday – I figure today’s as good a day as any to update you on how things went. I wrote one other update back in March (you can read that one here https://seespeakshare.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/stretches-im-back/).

So Here Goes – the bits from the original post will be written in plum and my additions will be in this normal black:

1. First an foremost I’m going to be blessed to be a blessing always in a position to help both financially and through prayer and in whatever way I can. I’m going to keep a count. I Expect to bless at least 15 people financially by my birthday. Pray with 10 people after midnight and give 7 strangers a car ride. I’ll also be able to purchase groceries for 2 strangers.

Through God’s help I was able to help at least 6 people out financially up to date. I don’t think I quite met my goal of 15. However, the people I was able to help, I was able to help in a very large way…at least for me. I can’t remember praying with anyone on the phone after midnight but I know I have prayed for at least 10 people after midnight. I gave two strangers a car ride. And while I wasn’t able to purchase groceries for two people I was able to buy a meal for two different people. I can honestly say that serving God by serving people in a practical way is the most rewarding way to live. It’s been awesome to see how blessed I really am in those times when I’ve been able to be a blessing to someone else whether in a small way or a big way.

2. God will reveal to my husband that I am his wife. By my birthday I Expect that my husband will know that he is my husband and he will be in the midst of courting me as a virtuous woman. As a result my birthday will be something out of the ordinary.

God totally revealed to me who my husband is. HE is my husband! I know that might sound corny and borderline “I don’t need a man because I got Jesus” but seriously first and foremost I belong to God and I am married to Him. Let me just say I have not been the most faithful daughter or lover. As it relates to knowing who my husband is in this life I’m no closer to knowing that than I was two years ago…ah…two years ago…that’s a post in itself. In March I thought that God had revealed to my husband that I was His wife. Then in September I thought I might be on the brink of a new courtship but nothing became concrete and now that’s all over and done with. My birthday was definitely memorable though. I went to my favorite church and what may be my home church when I relocate to Atlanta Lord willing (Destiny Metropolitan www.destinymetro.org) and then I helped my friend pack her stuff, I went to Red Lobster with an old friend (now ex-friend, long story…I’ve been making a lot of ex-friends lately…I digress) and almost went on a hot air balloon ride and almost recorded in a home studio. I know almost doesn’t count but it was exciting nonetheless. Like I said, it was memorable. I’m looking forward to my birthday next year though because I’ll be 23 on the 23rd. Whoop Whoop. LOL.

3. I will have three books completed by my birthday. I expect that God will inspire me and continue to motivate me to write as consistently as I have been and the results of that labor will be three books completed and ready to give out for publishing.

…yeah soooo about having THREE boos completed…not quite, lol. But I did complete a short story that I’ve more or less had in my head for the last 4 years or so. I finally got it out of my head. It’s called “The Runner”I have a play in the works…I like it very much. I actually have to complete this before graduation in December because it’s for a grade. The working title is “Do you believe in Majick?” God’s willing it will be publisher worthy. I also have a mini-play (“Same conversation”) that’s pretty much done I just need like four more lines to end it out. So technically I have three literary works complete or nearly complete. I also have a plethora of poetry encased in my brain that I really need to take time out to flesh out on paper. Hopefully, I can do a bit of that this week while enjoying the Hypocrisy of the Puritans and the Rape of the Native Americans oh I mean Thanksgiving. Never mind me…sometimes my knowledge of history trips me up…

4. $8000 will pass through my hand and belong to me by my birthday. I expect to sow a $2000 seed during Super Sunday at my church in October.

I stopped keeping count of this like back in March smh. So I cannot say whether or not $8000 passed through my hand. However, I can say that I know God as Jehovah Jireh. God truly gave seed to the sower this year. Even though I wasn’t able to sow a $2000 seed during Super Sunday at my church I was able to sow $100 and tithe consistently. And as much as it was possible I gave every time I had the opportunity and gave cheerfully. Even more than that I prayed for a job and God made the way for me. He’s good!!

5. I will go out of the country this year. I expect to go alone. It will either be as an intern who works with Voice of the Martyrs and the persecuted church or as an English scholar in Paris.

I did some traveling alone this year but it wasn’t out of country. I didn’t go out of country at all, actually. I didn’t even get to visit back home (Jamaica). But that’s okay. I did go to a conference in Indianapolis by myself and that was an amazing experience. So while it wasn’t another country it was traveling to another state, one I’d never been to. It was good stuff. I’m hoping to go on a missions trip sooner than later more on that as I think more about it.

By writing down what I want I am setting myself up to expect God to give me what I need and Ephesians 3:20 tells me that God is able to do Exceeding Abundantly Above ALL I can ask or Think –

Even if things don’t work out according to the way I wrote them down here they are going to work out in an Even better way – a way that only God could come up with. Any change in those expectations will only prove that God’s ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Even the “disappointments” will supersede the expectations I have set.

I am of course content with the way the year went so far. I say so far because there is still a month and some to go. There were some things that didn’t go as expected at all. I’d like to refer to these as left-fielders.

Left-Fielders:

I must say that this year was filled with all sorts of left-fielders.

For one I had to deal with the reality of Death.

Losing Kaiya Janae Castillo is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I was rocked to the core. I broke. I’ve picked myself up of course by God’s grace but I’m also not who I used to be. I’m not sure how graduation is going to go because seeing Kisha (her mother) may only remind me of Kaiya’s absence. =/

Two, I had to truly accept that I don’t have it all figured out, and that’s okay.

Last year I helped put together a vision board and while it seems that when other people put their vision boards together or write their dreams/hopes/goals/aspirations out they come true, down to the tiniest detail, that just has not been the case for me. God seems to be shuffling and reshuffling my life…well from my perspective anyway. I know that in the reality of eternity everything is going according to what HE has planned. There’s been a lot of paradigm shifts and disappointments which in all honesty introduced shock to my system and left my spiraling into a fog of confusion. Clarity only came when I realized that my job is not to try and figure it out. I must look to my Waymaker, Guide, and Compass – GOD. That perhaps has been the most valuable lesson I’ve learned all year, and perhaps that was the point. Literally, every time I thought I knew what God was doing or where HE was going with something it turned out to be completely different by way of my own actions, the actions of others or divine intervention.

Third, my friendships have evolved some for the better some for the worse.

I’m so glad that I learned that there are different kinds of friendships courtesy of the Samantha Jankowski (you can read her amazing insight here https://seespeakshare.wordpress.com/2011/10/13/teach-me-but-you-gotta-have-friends/ and on her blog http://hearhistruth.blogspot.com/) Her words of wisdom were a relief to me at a time when I was wondering if I was a good friend any at all.

So this year I’ve met some amazing people that I believe will be here for a lifetime. Some people I thought were lifetime friends seem to have been only for a season some seasons were longer than others but  they still seemed to be seasonal. And some people that I originally thought would only be seasonal seem to be lifetime friends. Whether seasonal or lifetime I have learned to embrace those people who are in my life and even the ones who seem to no longer be part of my life I have embraced the positive influence and the mark they have impressed on my life. In short I’m grateful. I also learned how important accountability is. Especially in the latter part of this year. I thank God for those women He has placed in my life to hold me accountable. What a blessing! Above all – GOD has proven to be the friend that sticks closer than a brother (or sister or mother or father for that matter) He is as close to me as my next thought and my own heartbeat.

I’m thankful for reality, for expectations met, for disappointments, for left-fielders and in general to have life and a mind that’s able to comprehend knowing God in my spirit. HE is good!

I’m so thankful for those of you who tune in to journey with me regularly-

Loving you…

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