**I haven’t blogged in such a long time. At the beginning of this blogging hiatus I was instructed by God to focus all my efforts on developing my relationship with Him and establishing a righteous rhythm as well as practicing excellence in my academics as this is my last semester as an undergrad at the University of Florida. However, once that period of time was over, I found it hard to make my way back into the blogging world.
Then. Things started to change. I found myself making more and more decisions and having to make them alone. I had to practice more self-discipline, more boldness, more speaking up. And this was a challenge for me. I was just getting comfortable and here was God once again shaking things up in my life and requiring me to stand before Him on my own. So I’ve been dealing with a lot and keeping it all in but telling on yourself is the best way to keep yourself from falling**
I am disturbed at the way the world has been so quick to idolize celebrities that have openly declared they have at least one alter ego. I’ve learned, (partially from experience) how demonic and dangerous an alter ego is. Especially when the alter ego merges with the real person. To be quite honest I had one as well and even though it started off as a joke I gave her a name and had an elaborate story detailing her history. The detail history part is not so strange because I am a writer. I love to write. I love to dream up characters, places, and plots. That’s part of being a writer.
I chose to name my alter ego Ducati. It was strange. It was exotic. It was edgy. And it was the name of the sexiest motorcycles ever!!
Like I said it started out as a joke. I’ve never really been a club goer but originally Ducati started out as my club name. Not that I ever had to use it.
Some of the detailed history I dreamed up for her was that Ducati’s boyfriend was a bald Puerto Rican who rode a motorcycle and her father was a motorcycle enthusiast who named her after his favorite bike. Again I reiterate all of this was a joke.
However, I found that the whole point of having an alter ego is to be able to do things, say things, and not really take full responsibility because it wasn’t Cara-Marie who said that, it was Ducati. Supposedly Ducati was supposed to be the “uninhibited” version of myself.
I realized Ducati was a problem when a friend of mine would try to “bring her out” while talking to me. I found that for a minute I was really buying into the whole concept of an alter ego and not only that but influencing others to do the same. Looking back you can see how demonic that is.
GOD is not compartmentalized. He wants to be God in every area of our lives. In fact, God is so supreme, so quintessential that He can never isolate His attributes all His characteristics and attributes are active and acting in sync with each other at all times.
The Ducati joke didn’t last for very long thank God. Still, it did some damage. I find that even now I have weird, far off thoughts that I would only associate with Ducati. Being overly sensual and yet nonchalant with the feelings of others. Ducati was a way for me to be shallow and dangerous, not just to myself but to others. When the pain of other people become the butt of the joke…the joke isn’t funny at all.
Ducati personified the battle that is raging in my members. A battle between good and evil. The battle between my spirit man and the flesh.
As Christians we are bombarded with temptations daily it can be seen in simple things. Even the way we choose to respond to people and our environment is an indication of our spiritual condition. So when we curse out that person who stepped on our toe, or we choose to give in to that lustful spirit we can use alter ego names all we want but really the issue is within us. We need to take responsibility.Even when we do fall short we have to acknowledge the error of our ways before we can truly be penitent in heart and ask God for forgiveness.
And yes we’re tempted but God makes ways of escape for us. We don’t have to succumb to the temptation around us fighting for our attention. Thing is, God knows our heart. It doesn’t matter what we say with our lips, or the act we put on for others, He knows the real us. Better than we even know ourselves. He’s not fooled by our acts or thrown off by the names we give our alter egos.
The prophet Isaiah said that even our righteousness is like filthy rags before a Holy and Righteous God. So when we find ourselves messing up its in our best interest to be honest with the God who already knows everything. He’s the one who can teach us His ways and give us the heart change a lot of us so desperately need. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us that we can’t even trust ourselves because our hearts are so deceitful. Yeap. We’re so backwards we can even deceive ourselves.
We can trust God. He will never lead us astray and through Him we can win battle after battle when our spirit man and the flesh clash. Ultimately our faith in Christ Jesus will help us win the war not just within our bodies but over all the evil of the world. He is Jehovah Nissi the Lord our Victory. The book of Revelation tells us that those who overcome will receive a crown of life. It’s definitely a time we should be looking forward to. Because the reality of the situation is “Life is for a limited time only”. It’s eternity that extends beyond what our minds can fathom. Eternity is unlimited and we have to make sure that we’re ready to burst through the confines of time to spend eternity with the Lord our God.
Be on your guard.