“Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.” – Mark 14:38
This is my 100th post-
Numbers have played a very important part in my day so far.
I ate an apple and of course I took off the sticker but when I threw away core and the napkin I had used I realized that the sticker was on my hand.
I looked at the sticker and it had a number 4135 and for some reason I thought to look at the 4th book of the Bible the 1st chapter and the 35th verse.
That took me to the book of Numbers the 1st chapter and lo and behold there was a 35th verse.
When I looked it up on my Bible app it was still on the New Century Version of the Bible and it read like this: “The tribe of Manasseh totaled 32,200 men.”
I was kind of like “Eh, that means nothing to me.” But I figured since there was another number I would go with it. So I decided to go to chapter 32 of Numbers and verse 20 and this is what I found: “So Moses told them, ‘You must do these things. You must go before the Lord into battle’ (Numbers 32:20 NCV)
God was speaking to me.
Yesterday my flesh decided that it was going to rebel. It had been starved for so long and been keeping relatively silent but yesterday it started to rear its ugly head an it started with “innocent” question: “Why?”
I began to ask God why – as if He (Creator of All) owed me some explanation for anything. I was having a Job moment.
I wanted to know WHY God was directing me in the direction He was.
Why did He want me to study theology and apologetics? What’s the point?
Why did He want to use my life, my marriage, etc., on the scale He’s been revealing to me?
My This morning I called my maternal grandmother and I told her that I knew my flesh was in rebellion against what God wanted me to do. I knew all this “Why” stuff was only a distraction but my flesh didn’t want to let go of it. One of the things that stood out in the conversation I had with my grandmother this morning was that told me, “Don’t stand for defeat”. There is a war being waged in my body the spirit man is fighting with the flesh man and I have no choice but to pick sides in this battle and as a Christian that means I’m on the side of the Spirit.
It’s no coincidence that God lead me to Numbers 32:30 – there was the answer to my questions. Why did He want me to study theology and use my life? Because I must do all these things. He purposed it and I must follow. That’s what I vow every time I sing a song like “I give myself away”, or “I surrender all”. And I also must go up to battle with my flesh before the Lord. As my grandmother said, I cannot stand for defeat not when God has promised me victory. I win. The spirit man wins. Every time.
Not only that but as I started working on this blog post I looked up the meaning of the name Manasseh and it means “causing to forget”. A reminder that God’s love for me should cause me to forget myself – it’s not about me. My life is only an instrument for God’s glory to be revealed in the earth. Not only that but God’s love for me causes Him to forget my sins and short comings. He only sees me as His righteousness.
Time to go up into battle. That means watching and praying – because yes the spirit is ready but the flesh is weak, it doesn’t like submitting to God’s will. The flesh can’t handle the spiritual weight and pressure to live holy and completely submitted to God.
My flesh was kicking up because the truth is my flesh isn’t ready for the responsibility that God has given me but my flesh will never be ready. Why? Because my flesh will never like not being in control and it doesn’t want to submit to God but
Ready or Not
God’s Will in my life will be done.
The spirit is willing and as long as I continue to starve my flesh as weak as it may be my spirit will be stronger and able to make it line up with my purpose in God.
I thank God for my great High Priest who even now is at the right hand of the Father interceding on my behalf.
Go to war with your weaknesses –
If you’re in Christ you will succeed.
Grace & Peace to you