It’s only the 7th day of the year 2011. It’s still very much a new year. Most people say things like “New Year. New Me.” I can’t remember ever following that trend but I have a bad memory so…lol I was in conversation last night and I said that 2010 was a year where I really got to see who I was behind closed doors when no one else was watching (other than God of course) and I learned a lot about myself and who I Really am.
I’ve really learned to love myself. <- That statement is somewhat of a cliche that you hear at the end of a movie where the protagonist (usually a woman) has “found” her self. Unfortunately for me, for lack of a better phrase that cliche will have to do.
Love is kind. One thing I realized last year was that I was my biggest critic and my self criticism was not always constructive. In fact, more often than not it was destructive. I resisted myself and gave myself a hard time. “It’s bad when you annoy yourself” (- Pink “Don’t Let Me Get Me”).
There was always this inner struggle going on that seemed completely separate from my spirit warring against my flesh. However, I realized that it wasn’t separate. The war between spirit and flesh had everything to do with what was going on. My flesh was critical in the worst way. It tried to drown out the loving sounds of my spirit man who was constantly trying to affirm God’s love for me. This is a praise report! The enemy gets no credit because He is defeated. That was one of the devices he used against me but thank God for that period of learning at His feet and practicing His Word and believing everything He has said.
I’m not looking to be a “new me” I’m expecting to be a Better me! Better because now that I am whole in Christ and I love myself when I love my neighbor as myself it won’t be the bare minimum it will be good love, an abundant love that gives freely.
So Allow Me to ReIntroduce Myself:
My name is Cara-Marie Patrice Taylor.
[Cara] Pronounced Cah-rah. If you ask one of my Jamaican family members how to pronounce it they may think too hard and end up saying Cyah-rah. It’s happened.
Cara-Mare is my first name. I used to hate my middle name because for the longest time I didn’t think I had one and then one day I asked and I found out I did. I was like I already have 2 first names why did I also need a middle name? But I’m good with my name now so long as people don’t call me Patrice and expect a response from me.
Nicknames [I used to believe I didn’t have any – surprise]:
Cara (most people call me this)
CarCar (a select few mostly just family)
Car (a handful of loved ones call me this)
Cara T. (my daddy calls me this and maybe one or two others)
Cari (My little sister Candace calls me this)
Carisha (only two people come to mind that call me this)
Before anything else – I am a Child of God. I exist to show How Great God is. I’m just a somebody who loves Jesus. Yes. I’m carried by The One who carried the cross. I belong to Him so be careful how you handle me 😉 So if you think you like me get to know my Creator (if you don’t already) because you’ll Love Him!
I was born in Kingston, Jamaica. I’m not “from” Kingston because Everybody from Jamaica comes from Kingston (lies & deceit). I claim Linstead, St. Catherine – that’s where home is when I go back to visit. I’m a proud Jamaican. I love Jamaican culture, the food, the skin tone and hair texture variations, and the music (riddims & Bob Marley especially). Moved to Astoria Queens, New York before I was one. Lived there some years then moved to Florida and for now I’m still here but this is not my final destination. I’m heaven bound of course but I also know I’m not staying in Florida after graduation from college in December!
I’m creative, I dare even say artistic. If I had to describe myself as either Concrete or Abstract – I’m definitely Abstract. If I describe myself as Random or Sequential – It’s Random hands down! I learned a lot about the Abstract Random learning style when I took psychology. Basically I loathe routines. I prefer to learn in an unstructured environment activities & discussions over a lecture any day! I prefer Not to be restricted by sometimes seem very hyper and easily distracted. When I’m communicating I gesticulate Especially if I’m telling a story! I can be very obstinate (stubborn) especially on issues I’m passionate about. I can also be very indecisive – “What do you want to eat?” I don’t know what do you want to eat? “Just pick something.” I don’t know. I also have very bad short term memory but my selective memory is ridiculously on point. I remember some of the most random moments with great detail. That photographic memory has been great in my academic studies. I am a recovering procrastinator. It’s a very terrible, no good, dirty, very bad habit lol. My problem with procrastination is that I work best under pressure and it always gets me through. But then I realized it was a sin so I’m trying to kick the habit.
I love music. I often wish life was a musical and people would just break out in song or at the very least there was a soundtrack to my life playing audibly in the background at all times.
I love singing. I sing to myself – a lot. When I’m talking to people something they say may trigger a song and I start singing.
I love to write. Short stories, poems, blogs.
I love to eat. I’m mentally obese – and I don’t mind lol.
I love to sleep. I can sleep most anywhere.
I love love love to laugh and smile. If you can make me laugh we’ll have no problems.
I love to read. Some things more than others – I get bored easily.
I love to take photographs. Pictures are a snapshot of moments.
I love to watch movies. They’re stories on screen. I’ll go to the movie theater and watch a movie by myself if it interests me enough.
I actually love watching basketball. For a while I thought it was a phase, something I was only into because my father made me think it was the best thing ever when I was young. I remember my father used to use basketball as a way to get me to behave if I was a good girl I could stay up and watch the game but if not off to bed. And then later in life a romantic interest of mine played basketball. So I kind of thought it was only something I watched to connect with them. :Buzzer Sounds: Nope. I’ll watch basketball by my lonesome and enjoy it and get hype and even tell my mom “I’ll go get ready for Christmas dinner when the game goes on break”, even though I’m the only one still watching it. I watch mostly NBA games but I do catch some College Ball.
I was a tomboy. Did all the running up and down and climbing trees and hopping over fences but I started growing out of that around 7th grade when it became important to have boys like you. Ugh. Even after I was forced out of my tomboy stage I did play intramural basketball but….and then in high school I did do track and cross country but…yea I wouldn’t say I’m much of an athlete.
I’m just really starting to get into football. I’m a NY Giants fan but mostly by default kind of like how I’m a Yankees fan – so I know what I need to know about those teams only and then that’s it. However, the more I learn about football the more I get into it. Still looking for someone who has enough patience to explain the game to me. Who will be such a one? lol
Bible Verse – I have a lot but my original all time favorite is Gal. 2:20
Color – Red.
Flower – White Roses
Chocolate – Cookies-n-Creme <- I like anything Cookies-n-Creme: milkshakes, cheesecake, ice cream. I also like Twix a lot!
Musicians – Fred Hammond. Bob Marley & Michael Jackson. Prince. It’s love. <- That’s the only thing I can say to explain what others call “obsession” : rolls eyes :
Instruments – Bass Guitar & Alto Sax
I used to be extremely critical of myself in this area. I always thought I was too short. But I have fully embraced my shortness 5’0 is where I’ll be and so that’s where it’s at 😉
Not only did I think I was too short. I thought I was short and stubby. I thought I was too curvy and I would get frustrated shopping for clothes and unmentionables but now I enjoy shopping when I have the money and I thank God that I’m in proportion according to the way He designed me. I used to be weight obsessed but I’m not punishing myself for the way I eat. Eating healthy is important worrying about weight gain is not.
I’m already big. I have big hair. I have big eyes. I have big lips. I have a big nose (when compared to the rest of my face). I have a big smile. I have big boobs and a butt to match. However, I do have tiny ears. lol
I like my hair. I used to find all this gray hair I have annoying but now I like it. When I colored my hair I actually missed the grays. Weirdo. I have an interesting hair texture it’s not curly and it’s not straight but what it is, is a thick beast that roosts on top of my head. And while going natural is the in thing now I cannot and will not because I’m not good with hair and it’s hard enough for me to care for relaxed hair much less my natural hair which would be harder to care for. At least it would be for me. I’m all about healthy hair natural hair is healthy hair but you can also be relaxed and healthy and that’s what’s best for me.
I like jewelry. Earrings especially. Most days you’ll find me wearing a chasity ring. I have two. One for everyday wear and a fly one for when I’m going out. However, I have to say most days because the everyday one looks kind of rough and I’d like a new one so until then some days I have it on some days I don’t.
I most certainly do Not like long walks on the beach or in the park or whatever those lame personal ads say. No. I like to run along the beach and play in the water. But even more than that I like to sit and look at the stars or the clouds and guess the shape of the clouds. The beach at night is amazing. I like to travel. I like good conversation. And don’t like sitting still for too long – sleep is the only exception. Sometimes my dreams feel like full length movies. I’m lactose intolerant but I love ice cream & Chick-fil-A cookies-n-creme milkshakes. I love sweets. Not so much cake but cookies, cinnamon rolls, candy, chocolate oh yeah. When I was younger I had birthday parties where I didn’t touch my cake because it was a regular cake. Now on my birthday I have Carvel ice cream cake with the chocolate crunchies – the best! I’m loud. I’m animated. I’m goofy.
I once wanted to be a singing lawyer. Then a forensic psychologist. The a movie director, screenwriter and actress and then a P.R. officer and then as of late of photographer but now I just want to be led by God in all I do, Especially career wise.
I have aspirations, plans, and goals like anyone else that I’m willing to share with anyone who is willing to listen but for now I’m enjoying the present and God’s presence in my life.
There it is. A reintroduction of myself. This is who I am and a little of the background of how I came to be this way. Of course there’s much more to be said but let’s leave it at
Hello. I’m a child of Love. I like to love. I’m love[able]. And I’d like to love you. Why? Because God is Love and that’s what He’s instructed me to do.
Wishing all of you who took the time to get to know me a little better
Love. Light. & Longevity