Ladies!! Stop Searching. Stop Settling. KNOW Your Worth!

Class is in Session. First Lesson –

Today’s Topic: Ladies!! Stop Searching. Stop Settling. KNOW Your Worth!

I woke up a few days ago and realized how backwards relationships have become. We’ve strayed so far from the outline that God has given us concerning marriage and relationships. As a result girls are becoming more and more anxious and settling for less than what they deserve. I say girls because ladies, we have been females since birth, but a girl only becomes a woman when she realizes her worth. Unfortunately there are a lot of girls walking around that should be women but their eyes have not been opened to the truth. I am NOT a feminist in fact I tend to side with quotes such as this one:

“Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.” –Timothy Leary

Women can surpass the bar of equality set by men. We are creatures of worth, created by God to augment the lives of men. Unfortunately today many of us don’t believe that and it is evident in the way we pursue men or settle for less than God’s best in the relationships we are in.

It seems as though society has lost sight of the fact that the women are the prize. Women should be the hunted and not the hunters. For women “The thrill of the chase” means the excitement of being pursued not the excitement of being the one pursuing. That’s the man’s job.

The three things every woman needs from her “man” (I use the term loosely because a lot of girls are wasting their time on boys) are 1. Romance 2. Fidelity (faithfulness) and 3. Understanding. If the man you’re with is lacking in these areas it simply is unacceptable and it needs to be addressed.

All throughout the Bible during times of arranged marriages it was the men who were instructed to love their wives…women were never explicitly instructed to love their husbands (Eph. 5:22). Women were told simply to submit themselves to their own husbands. God knew that love is most important to women and respect is most important to men. Men should be making an effort to express their love for the woman and the woman should respect the man.

The Bible says that the worth of a virtuous woman is far above rubies. The man you’re in a relationship with should treat you as such. I’m not talking about a trophy wife but he should treat you like royalty. If you are a child of God then you are a daughter of the Creator of the Universe. You’re a princess!

So do a self-examination: Are you a virtuous woman? You know you are a virtuous woman if when you are unmarried you care for the things of the Lord and out of your love and devotion to Christ you do your best to remain holy both in body and in spirit (1 Cor. 7:34). Some of us need to stop giving our body away to every man that says “I love you”. He’s using the wrong “L” word. What he really means to say is “I LUST You”.

Love is Love and sex is sex don’t get it DETSIWT (Twisted)!  It is Not Okay to bare your sacred body to anyone other than your husband. Every time you have sex with someone else you are joining your spirit with theirs. You’re spirit is too precious for that. “What? Didn’t you know that whoever (male or female) is joined with a prostitute (male or female) is married (one body)? For two, says God, will be on flesh.” (1 Cor. 6:16) That’s right ladies how many husbands do you have walking around?

Be joined to the Lord. God will forgive you of your sins and reveal the kind of treatment you deserve. Take the first step today.

Start calling the shots! The ball is in your court. Stop with all the turnovers. Stop giving men all this power over you.

Start having more ambition for yourselves. Men will always and only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. So start carrying yourself like the Queen you are because then you will attract Kings and the Jokers will be intimidated.

Proverbs 18:22 “Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord.” Ladies it’s not enough to want to be someone’s “girlfriend”, a man should want to make you his wife. A man should seek you out.  When you grace his life with your presence and he gives you his last name the Bible says that the man will actually obtain favor from the Lord that’s how special and important you are to God!

Seek the Lord as to who is even worthy of your time. Time is precious. Why waste your time with another woman’s Adam when you are another man’s Eve? Stop chasing someone that doesn’t want to be caught so that the one who’s chasing you can finally catch up to you.

Start carrying yourself with some dignity. Men know that if a woman is amazing she’s not easy, and if she’s easy she’s not amazing. Yes, even they know that good things come to those who wait. So Ladies STOP looking for a man. Focus on God, focus on your goals and God will lead your husband (not just another man) to you. Your husband will be the one that comes looking.

Don’t ever lower your standards just to be in a relationship because it’s not worth it. And if you have low standards get around strong, God-fearing, and positive women who will help you raise your standards. You’re worth more than you know to God. It’s not okay for you to be an afterthought. It’s not okay that when you express your feelings he says nothing and does nothing about it.

It makes me sad to see a fellow woman allowing a man to drive her crazy, let go and let God bring you the one that’s crazy about you. No man is worth your tears.

Stop letting men treat you like crap! Stop losing sleep over these men who are not your husband! Stop wasting your tears because they are not worth it! Stop feeling threatened! Stop getting angry and upset with other women! KNOW Your Worth! Communicate your feelings and if he can’t get with the program – He’s not your Adam. Cut your losses and Keep it moving.

If you feel like you’re doing too much 9 times out of 10 you are! Start making yourself scarce. Stop allowing all these different men to have access to you. If you want an exclusive relationship become exclusive. Men should be the ones ringing off your phone dying for an opportunity to take you out and woo you. Do not wrap your identity up in a relationship with a man who is not taking the time out to treat you like you’re treating him. Relationships should be a 50/50 effort, you should not be carrying most of the load. When you do, you’re bound to get tired emotionally and that exhaustion can build into resentment and resentment leads to bitterness. And nobody like being around a bitter woman.

If you want to see the definition of a real man and a real relationship look at the love that God has for the world and that Jesus has for the church. Don’t go another day searching for a man or settling for something less than God’s best!

“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Lord, she will be praised.” Proverbs 31:30


20 thoughts on “Ladies!! Stop Searching. Stop Settling. KNOW Your Worth!”

  1. Your blog has been “food for my soul”. This is just what i needed..U have been an inspiration to my life! Thank You from my heart. May god abundantly bless you! 🙂


    1. It’s my pleasure Emilia!! Thank you for serving as motivation to keep writing and sharing! I love you for taking the time to read it 🙂


  2. I REALLY needed to read this. Ive been battling this issue for yeaaarrrss! Decided yesterday to cut my loses with someone who isnt appreciating me.


    1. Hi Nikki! :Waves:
      I’m SO Sorry my response comes so late :-/ I really appreciate you stopping by my page and leaving your mark…especially sharing in the meaningful way that you did.
      Let me just say cutting your losses is by no means the easy way to go but it’s worth it. Without even knowing you I can say you deserve better – how do I know that? Because you’re smart enough not to settle. Congrats! I pray that whatever healing you need takes place.

      Until the right guy comes along press into God. And even when the right one shows up stay in God. After all, God is love. 🙂


    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing that Grace! I really appreciate you.
      That helps to keep me motivated and perhaps I’ll be sure to talk a little louder now that I know it’s helping others.

      Thanks again! Grace and peace to you!!


  3. Awesome!!! thank you so much. I have been thinking about starting my own blog are page in motivatonal and encouraging women.This has empowerd me to pursue my dreams to become a inspirationl speaker to help motivate and encourage women to have higher standards and focus on us more,and to stop tearing each other down,Wonderful and Amazing Words.Thank you again :~)


    1. Wowsers! That’s beautiful Debra!! As women we definitely need positive affirmation from one another. We need to embrace ourselves and a realistic as well as a positive self-image. People will always treat us the way we allow them to. And when we are in a settling frame of mind it shows! Pursue that dream!! I look forward to hearing more on you and your progress –

      Peace.&.Blessings madame


  4. Cara my dear love!! 🙂 This was an amazing blog!! Loved every single word. Like always you are an amazing inspiration/role model !! Continue using Gods gift 🙂 Love you girl and be blessed !! 🙂


  5. I’m simply amazed when I pause to see that people have taken the time to read something I wrote. I’m humbled by that ladies! Really.
    Thank you for sharing even the smallest parts of your life with me by saying you agree and that this was something you needed to hear.
    Stay strong!



  6. I agree, that one should know their worth. But they must fully believe that they are worthy and deserving.

    You mention romance, but what about friendship? Building a solid foundation based on friendship – learning, paying attention, and understanding one another – wouldn’t that supersede romance?



    1. Hi Felicia,

      Thanks so much for stopping by to share! I should apologize, the logophile in me used the term romance in the original sense of the word which does include friendship. When I say romance I mean it not in the sense of a short lived love affair but in the sense of ardent emotional attachment. An emotional attachment that ultimately is only built on friendship and quality time spent together.

      I preferred the term romance to friendship in this particular post to stress the eros/agape male-female relationship. Friendships can sometimes be one-sided. I believe it’s important to befriend as many people as possible. The reality is sometimes some friendships are more like mentoring relationships with one person receiving more out of it than the other. A relationship is not meant to be that way. Both people reach a mutual understanding and both people give and take.

      I only wished to encourage women not to settle. Women, more often than men, are tempted to settle out of a fear of being alone or because they are trying to stick to some timeline the dreamed up for themselves. We don’t have to give into that kind of pressure even when we’re the ones pressuring ourselves.

      Thanks again for sharing!! Come again!

      Much Love & Light to you! 🙂


  7. I love this article because it’s focused on women. Women need to be motivated to be better, stronger and more loving to themselves as well as others. When we know our worth, we will be better in every way. Like you said, God didn’t create us to be less, cause he loves us all. Very powerful! Keep doing what you’re doing. Thank you


    1. Hi Helene,

      Bless you for your willingness to leave behind an imprint here in this space. When we know our worth and are secure in who we are, that’s when we can truly begin to uplift one another and we won’t shrink from demanding the respect GOD created us to deserve.

      Thank you for stopping by and for your words of encouragement.



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