Hello My Name is…

“Ohhhh Sade better sing that!”

“You are so crazy.”

“Girl what? This song is too true. Big tune!”

“Stop! You’re gonna make people think you’re crazy.”

“Are they looking yet? Because I can definitely talk louder…”

“You’re a mess, A hot mess.”

“And you love it,” singing “’Run away, pretty girl/Say so long, Mr.Wrong.’ Ugh. Girl!”

“What’s your problem now?”

“No problem. But just think how much smoother the world would run, how much Easier things would be if men would simply introduce themselves by saying ‘Hello my name is Mr. Wrong.’”

Michelle laughed, “I’m not quite sure I follow. You can’t possibly be saying all men are Mr. Wrong.”

Lisa had her foot in the door she had been waiting for an invitation to reel off her new philosophy. “Michelle I know you’re happily married but unfortunately today you are part of a Dwindling number of exceptions! If you’re worried about me male bashing and bringing your adoring husband into the mix let me first say I am highly disappointed – shame on you!”

Michelle rolled her eyes. “You are so dramatic.”

“Oh girl I know.”

“Do you really? I don’t think you hear it enough.”

“Good thing you’re here to remind me.” Lisa winked.

The two women walked along.

“I don’t believe you were done sharing your grand idea on why the world would be better.”

“OH, well seems I’ve piqued your interest.”

“You better tell me before I change my mind.”

“Ok. Ok. All I’m saying is I wish men would state their intentions from the jump. What are you looking for a good time or a good wife?”

“Why? What are you offering? Hmmm.” Michelle moved her eyebrows up and down.

It was Lisa’s turn to roll her eyes. “Anyway, as I was saying…”

Michelle chuckled, “Yes.”

“I would much rather a man come up to me and say ‘Hello my name is Mr. Wrong. I don’t really want you to be my friend. I’m only looking for a good time. Are you up to it?’ instead of all the perpetrating going on in the world today!”

“Wow. Perpetrating? Okay.”

“Yes. I’m tired of hearing ‘I know you said we can only be friends but I love you,’ or ‘I know we’re both trying to live holy but I can’t stop thinking about you and if you come over I’ll show you what’s on my mind.’”

“Show you? Eww.”

“Oh true story. I’ve actually had men say something like this to me. Hmmm, what else have I heard…”

“How about this one ‘I know I’m with someone right now but I want to marry you.”

“Hahaha yes good one. Do you see the madness I’m talking about?”

Michelle shrugged, “Maybe you just attract losers?”

“Really? So now it’s my fault?”

Michelle was tearing up from all the laughing. “No, of course not I was just throwing that out there. I don’t know…I guess not.”

“Yea, not! This is no laughing matter. Thank God for Jesus and for my identity in Him because if I was depending on some man to show me my worth I’d be devastated at this point.”

“God help the man who is Mr. Right for you because he’s going to have his hands full.”

“He better, he better, he Better believe it!” The two laughed.

“Back to this philosophy. It has some holes.”

“How so?”

“You just reduced all men…”

“Most not all.”

“Okay well Most men to Mr. Wrong insinuating that they are all the same, but even bad guys differ from each other.”

“Eh, I suppose you’re right. How about having them disclose why they’re Mr. Wrong as they introduce themselves?”

“Uh-huh,” Michelle was waiting for Lisa to elaborate.

“For example, ‘Hello-‘”

“’My name is Mr. Wrong…’”

“AKA Mr. Bad Habits. I curse. I drink. I smoke and though I try to hide it from you and tell you I just want to be your friend. I will never quit these bad habits or quit trying to lure you into bed.”

“Ha! Wow. Okay I got one. ‘Hello-‘”

“My name is Mr. Wrong.”

“’Aka Mr. Wrong way – I do everything the wrong way. You would have to spend your life telling me the correct way to do everything and on top of that I secretly like men so you see I go the wrong way.”

“Ha! Okay, ‘Oh hello my name is also Mr. Wrong aka Mr. Bad Timing’”

“’We would make a perfect couple if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m already in a relationship,’”

“’Or that I’ll only like you when I see you’re interested in someone else.’” Lisa shook her head.  “See? We could go on and on. I’m Mr. Wrong aka The cheating athlete. I’m Mr. Wrong aka the workaholic who just wants a trophy wife.”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka the gangbanger and dope dealer.”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka the deadbeat dad to seven kids by six baby mamas.”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka the woman beater.”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka the spooky spiritual hypocrite.”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka Mr. HIV and STD”

“I’m Mr. Wrong aka no credit. Ugh! It’s just sad! So sad! Girl you’re blessed! You got you a good one.”

“Aw, hun don’t you worry your pretty little head God’s got the right one for you.”

“Mmhmm.  Matter of fact..that might just be him right over there.” Lisa turned Michelle’s attention to a tall, handsome and well dressed stranger walking opposite of them.

“Ooh he’s coming over.”

Lisa tried to shush Michelle but they only giggled like school girls.

“Do you mind if I interrupt, I know you two ladies were deep in conversation…”

Lisa batted her large eyes. “You have no idea.”

“How can we help you?” Michelle asked.

“I simply wanted to let you ladies know that you two were glowing. I took notice and wanted to compliment you both on your happiness – you wear it well.”

“Are you married?” Lisa asked. Michelle elbowed her for being so forward. Lisa shot her an innocent look that said “What?”

The handsome stranger laughed. “No, I’m not.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow, smiled sweetly and said, “Do you want to be?”


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